


No One But You

by easytea



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Hanahaki Disease, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:23:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 35,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22071772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/easytea/pseuds/easytea
Summary: Love is painful especially when unrequited.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Zhang Yi Xing | Lay
Comments: 25
Kudos: 37





	No One But You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [augmenti](https://archiveofourown.org/users/augmenti/gifts).

> So according to gdocs, I started this at the beginning of July and I never expected this would take so long to finish; I think I've been saying "I'm almost done," since late September /o\ I didn't even think it would have the word count that it does, but here we are.
> 
> Anyway, this fic is dedicated to Kit, who I am always grateful for and all these words wouldn't even exist without them. I was on twt and wanted to write a smut scene for another fic that's been going on for four years now lol But that couldn't happen for reasons and she replied and long story short, somehow this whole hanahaki fic was born. I'm really happy to have written it and enjoyed writing it the entire time, so thank you Kit for even asking for this and igniting my love for this pairing once again. Hope you love it!!! ♥ ♥ ♥
> 
> For everyone else, I hope you like it as well ♥

Baekhyun falls back onto the mattress with a loud thud, springs creaking as Yixing climbs on top of him to kiss him as he always does—soft yet fleeting, always making Baekhyun wanting just a little more. So of course it doesn’t last and Yixing quickly slips Baekhyun’s cock back inside himself and starts up a steady rhythm of bouncing up and down. It has Baekhyun’s toes curling as he loosely holds onto Yixing's waist. And Baekhyun pouts for a second at how difficult it’s become to keep a decent grasp on him with their sweat soaked skin from how long they’ve been entangled in each other, but any hint of sulking quickly disappears when Yixing leans in and kisses him at the corner of his lips before pressing his lips right against his ear.

“Stop frowning and fuck me,” Yixing whispers when his movements come to a still.

“You’re the one that pushed me on my back,” Baekhyun quips, hand sliding into Yixing’s hair and forcing them to face each other directly. “Plus you said you wanted to keep this impersonal. This is supposed to be low effort. I feel like I need to tell you this over and over.” Besides, it’s rather nice just admiring Yixing working himself on his cock as he sits back relaxed. “Though my offer of kissing me _ properly _ still stands if you want me to _ really _ fuck you.”

Yixing sighs and pecks Baekhyun on the lips and Baekhyun holds in a frustrated groan. “Maybe I should have asked Chanyeol.”

That has Baekhyun immediately flipping Yixing onto his back and pinning his hands above his head. _ Fucking Chanyeol, _ he thinks as his chest begins to feel tight. _ No, you can make it through this like always. _ “Oh really? You think he could fuck you like me?” Baekhyun smirks, voice low as he slowly moves his hips hard into Yixing. _ Focus on Yixing, only Yixing. He’s yours right now. _ “Make you come again and again? Bet he’d last one round at most.” Baekhyun watches as Yixing holds in a moan and turns his head away from him. “Want me to stop and call him over? Want him to finish you off?” Yixing shakes his head as he legs come to wrap around Baekhyun’s waist when Baekhyun sits up. _ Good. _

“God, just—” Yixing’s next words are incoherent when Baekhyun moves a bit faster and his thrusts become deeper.

“Yeah?” Baekhyun grins as he begins to lose any sort of rhythm.

_ “Baekhyun—you—fuck—faster,” _ he breathes out in between a few moans.

It would be rude not to listen at this point, when they’re both so close and Baekhyun feels like he’s going to pass out or throw up at this point. He needs to hurry. As his hips falter and the tight hold Yixing’s thighs has on his waist becomes almost unbearable, Baekhyun comes with a loud grunt, milking out his orgasm until he falls against Yixing and buries his face into his friend’s neck.

“Did you—” Baekhyun barely gets out when Yixing kisses him, _ hard, _ and yeah, he came too Baekhyun sees when he peeks between their bodies or else he’s sure he’d be shoved to the floor and on his knees like Yixing has threatened in the past. It’s never happened before and Baekhyun doesn’t ever plan on Yixing carrying out those words. So he focuses on how Yixing’s lips slide against his own, how they make his heart skip with each press. When Yixing breaks the kiss all too soon Baekhyun feels like he needs to cough. _ Bad. _ “I have to piss,” Baekhyun excuses himself with and rushes off to the bathroom without waiting for any sort of reaction from Yixing.

Baekhyun slams the bathroom door and is quick to run the sink water as he begins to hack up petals, red rose petals to be exact, and part of the soup he had for lunch for what feels like the thousandth time. He counts six petals this time through the goopy mess left in the sink when there’s usually three or four and Baekhyun wonders if that means he’s falling deeper in love with each fuck or if this is the natural progression of the disease. He groans before plucking the petals out and placing them into tissue to toss into the trash bin, wondering how much longer he’ll have to deal with coughing up flowers in his chest along with throwing up his latest meal before Yixing returns his feelings or he dies.

With a huff, he rinses his mouth with mouthwash before doing a quick clean of the sink and returning to Yixing’s bedroom. Yixing’s busying himself with his phone and Baekhyun slides back into bed and nestles into Yixing’s side.

“What’cha doing?” Baekhyun asks and tries to look at Yixing’s phone, but his friend pulls it out of view. Baekhyun pokes his side before snuggling closer. Yixing absentmindedly wraps his arm loosely around him; it’s not as secure as Baekhyun wants it to be but at least Yixing didn’t pull away post sex like he usully does.

“Seeing if any of the guys want to make a surprise visit to Jongdae’s,” Yixing answers, though quietly and doubts that’s the truth when he saw Chanyeol’s name and not their group chat on his phone. Yixing continues, “He’s been out of the hospital for a week now and refuses to see anyone. I think a group of us coming over will work.”

Baekhyun decides to put aside Yixing’s lie and concentrates on Jongdae’s issue for now. “Well, a surgery like that has got to fuck with your emotions when they’re removing part of them,” Baekhyun points out as he climbs out of bed. He waits for Yixing to pull him back, to ask him to stay so they can cuddle but nothing happens. _ Stop setting yourself up for disappointment. _ “Have you seen how Minseok’s been? Heard he was a wreck as well, but I don’t know. Heard he’s coughing them up now too.”

“Hm. I’ll check in if he comes to class tomorrow. He actually hasn’t been lately, but I doubt he wants to fail one of classes when we’re so close to getting our masters.”

Baekhyun hums, glancing behind himself to see Yixing still being more into his phone—_into Chanyeol_—than him. He frowns and leaves the bedroom in search of his clothes before he can think too much and end up back in the bathroom. He finds his clothes scattered on the living room floor and after he’s redressed himself, Baekhyun flops onto the couch, wondering if he should leave or not. He gets ready to slide himself off the couch and head straight for the door when Yixing strolls in with only his boxers on and sits right next to him, knees knocking against each other’s.

And Baekhyun thinks of how unfair life, how unfair Yixing is when he throws his arms around him and nuzzles into Baekhyun’s side because _ now _ Yixing finds it appropriate to cuddle. It always happens and Baekhyun hates the effort Yixing puts into making sure they don’t do anything too intimate after sex. And then there’s this—them just being friendly friends cuddling and holding hands like they always have. He hates the distinction Yixing is so adamant on setting and if he weren’t already too far gone he would have pushed Yixing away, letting him know he’s leaving instead of holding his best friend a bit closer.

Baekhyun supposes that’s what love does, making him a thousand shades of stupid even if it is slowly killing him. Maybe he should have never suggested the whole friends with benefits thing especially when he was already coughing up a petal or two. He thought that sex would open Yixing’s eyes and make him realize they are perfect for each other, but all it’s done is give him more headaches and heartache. But four and counting months of torture won’t be so bad if he ever has the chance to look back on these times with Yixing, laughing over how silly Yixing was to not admit he loved him back sooner. Then again with Chanyeol in the picture and being fully aware of Yixing’s feelings for him, the coughing and chest pain has become more frequent and it makes Baekhyun anxious for what’s to come.

So for the nth time, Baekhyun tries to see if he can get Yixing to confess. He can’t continue dealing with this forever.

“Hey, Xing,” Baekhyun whispers as he pokes his friend in his side. Yixing hums, not looking away from his phone Baekhyun didn’t notice him bring. He peers down to see Yixing sending Chanyeol a bunch of different heart emojis that he can only interpret as flirting. “We’ll never get like them, right? Like Jongdae and Minseok?” Baekhyun feels Yixing tense against him and he ignores how his heart does the same.

“What do you mean?” Yixing asks, cautiously, and sets his phone off to the side and sits up.

“Being so wrapped up in love it nearly kills us,” he says, same muted tone as before.

Yixing visibly relaxes and says, “We’re not in love with anyone though.”

Baekhyun swallows hard and clears his throat. _ Please don’t. Not now. You can get through this, _ he pleads with himself. _ Being sad is okay, just not now. _He sees a half-empty bottle of water on the coffee table and hurriedly drinks from it, not riding the awful taste in his mouth in the slightest. “Duh,” Baekhyun sighs as he pushes Yixing on his shoulder. Maybe he can hint at the idea of being in love instead. Praying there isn’t an ounce of bitterness or disappointment in his voice, Baekhyun continues. “I meant when we do fall in love. You know, being so in love that it gives you flowers in your chest because you’d rather die from unrequited love instead of getting over it like most. We shouldn’t be like that and say what we feel instead.”

Yixing shrugs and snatches the water bottle from Baekhyun and finishes it off. Indifferently, he says, “I don’t think I’m the type. If someone doesn’t like me then that’s life. They just weren’t the one for me.”

“You can’t predict the future and I don’t want to lose my best friend because someone didn’t love you back,” Baekhyun says, maybe a bit too dramatically for Yixing to be giggling. Baekhyun punches him in the arm and Yixing pinches his cheek in retaliation, eye roll included. “Just don’t be a Jongdae or turn into a Minseok when it’s too late.”

“I feel like I should be giving _ you _ this talk. You’re a pure romantic,” he points out and falls against Baekhyun’s side. When Baekhyun doesn’t hold him like he had before, Yixing takes Baekhyun’s arm and wraps it around his shoulder himself. _ Why are you so—_“You’ve never dated anyone and are a pure romantic. It’s kind of cute.”

“You used to be.”

“Life,” he mumbles. _ Life meaning Junmyeon you mean, _ Baekhyun thinks. _ Fucking cheater. _

“Life,” Baekhyun repeats with as much enthusiasm as Yixing. This conversation seems to be as good as dead. “Want to order pizza? Tell Jongdae we’re coming over with his fave and he can’t tell us no,” Baekhyun says as he stands.

“Okay. I’ll shower first.” Yixing hops off the couch and Baekhyun watches as Yixing’s eyes stay glued to his phone the entire walk to the bathroom.

Baekhyun wonders if entertaining Jongdae will be enough to keep his mind free of too many thoughts of his best friend and shifts to lie on the couch until Yixing says it’s time to leave.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


There’s an itch in his throat that’s been persistent since he left to pick up the pizza, but Baekhyun is tired of how much it burns and the awful taste left in his mouth each time he has to empty his stomach and clear out his chest. He’s learned to carry a toothbrush and mouthwash in his car for when it happens, but this time he chooses to ignore the irritating sensation at least until he gets to Jongdae’s place. If he thinks of the weather, the grocery list he should have put together, the last time he went home to visit his parents, if he thinks of _ anything _ other than a certain someone, then it can’t happen. It usually doesn’t if he’s not too upset or riled up.

But refusing to acknowledge his emotions can only last so long. As soon as he parks in an allotted space at Jongdae’s apartment, his mind wanders straight to thoughts of Yixing and how he’s supposed to be here. Baekhyun groans right before he has a coughing fit. He haphazardly opens the door and spits up what he hopes is just a single petal onto the concrete. A few long seconds go by before he’s done wiping spit and what feels like bits of rose from his lips. He looks to the ground and counts six, the same as earlier. Baekhyun sighs and steps over the mess as he gets out of his car and shuts the door; it’s supposed to rain soon anyway.

Baekhyun then grabs the small bottle of mouthwash from the glove compartment, hurriedly rinsing his mouth out with it, before he takes the box of pizza from the passenger seat and finally makes his way towards Jongdae’s door. _ Time to focus on Jongdae, _ he repeats to himself until he reaches the door. He rings the doorbell, waiting barely a minute before Jongdae’s voice is sounding through the speaker.

“Hey,” Jongdae groggily greets. “Who is it?”

Baekhyun holds down the button to the speaker to shout, “Jongdae! Open up It’s Baekhyun, you’re most favorite friend who brought you pizza!” He then gives a few hard knocks to the door just to be dramatic and _ maybe _ a little annoying since Jongdae wanted to ignore them all for so long. “The pizza is getting cold! And it’s barbeque chicken! One of your favorites!” He lets go of the buzzer.

“I’ll be down in a few seconds,” Jongdae yawns through. When a few seconds turn into fifteen, Baekhyun begins pounding on the door until it cracks open.

“Oh my god,” Jondgae whines as soon as he fully opens the door and takes the pizza from his friend. “What if the neighbor’s file a noise complaint? Be considerate,” he scolds, making Baekhyun cackle. “Why are you so annoying so early?”

“Dae, it’s like after seven at night,” Baekhyun quietly points out and lets himself in before taking off his shoes hands free. He takes a moment to give Jongdae a once over and he looks better than expected; he looks _ good_. No weight loss. No sunken look on his face. If Baekhyun didn’t know him personally, he’d never have guessed he had just gotten out of the hospital a week ago. The only thing that worries Baekhyun is the scar that he can see running down Jongdae’s chest through his white tee. He wants to ask if it hurts, but there will be plenty of time for that later. “Is it just us?”

“Thought Yixing was coming.” Jongdae glances around out his door before shutting it and then pushes Baekhyun gently on his back to get him walking up the stairs. “He said you both were coming. With everyone else.”

“Yeah, well he bailed on us to rescue puppies with Chanyeol,” he frowns and tries not to think much further. “He probably didn’t get around to asking the guys.” Jongdae doesn’t say anything in response as he leads Baekhyun into the tiny, open kitchen, carelessly dropping the pizza onto the table. Baekhyun uses the silence to see that his friend got the waffle maker he’s been talking about for the last month and a few mugs that must be new because he doesn’t recognize them. “Nevermind that you just got out of the hospital and finally let someone come over,” he sullenly adds rather late.

“It’s fine,” Jongdae shrugs as he sets out plates and Baekhyun goes into the fridge to pull out two cans of cola and then they both sit. “At least he’s being active about his feelings. I think spending time with Chanyeol is worth more than visiting me. Oh, and saving animals too.”

“It’s really not, but okay.”

“You’re just saying that because you want Yixing all to yourself.”

Baekhyun coughs and quickly swallows the petal he felt coming up and rushes to grab a slice of pizza from the box to shove into his mouth despite there being two pieces already on his plate. “So, you seem to be doing pretty good for someone who's been ignoring his friends all week,” he says after they’ve both eaten half of a slice and in hopes that they’ll steer clear from talking about Yixing. “You look well too.”

“My brother was over the first three days, most of which I slept through,” Jongdae begins explaining. “My chest still kind of hurts—a lot actually—but other than that, I feel fine. I’m not really up to seeing anyone so I’ve just been thinking for the most part.”

He wonders what made today so special to allow anyone over, but quickly forgets the thought in favor of asking, “About what?” curiosity getting the best of him. Maybe Jongdae will actually express himself instead of shutting him out.

“Minseok, obviously,” Jongdae grumbles through and sets down the can he almost, but doesn’t take a sip from and folds his arms on the table. “It’s just weird,” he starts, “It’s weird to not think _ anything _ when thinking about him. And I really do mean nothing when I say he means _ nothing _ to me. It feels like it should feel wrong to say that, but there’s just—nothing.” His brow this furrows and he opens his mouth to speak and closes it to frown instead.

“You mean like you feel zero attachment to Minseok?” Baekhyun questions. Knowing how close they were prior to Jongdae’s surgery, it seems impossible that Jondgae wouldn’t feel something for him, even if only friendship.

“Yeah,” he sighs. “It took _ everything _ I felt for him. I keep playing all these memories of us in my head and it’s—it’s frustrating that they don’t make me feel happy or sad or angry or anything. It’s like something’s missing and I know it’s Minseok, but I can’t connect anything with him. He might as well be a stranger that bumped into me once.”

“That’s—rough,” Baekhyun drawls, not knowing what to say next. “I know he’s your best friend, or at least was.”

“True, but at least I’m talking about it with someone who kind of knows what it’s like,” Jongdae comments so casually, yet it still makes Baekhyun freeze. Jongdae starts to ramble, “My brother was no help saying shit like it’ll get better and we’ll be friends again. I don’t even think it’s possible to love him as a friend again. So maybe it’s better Yixing isn’t here, so I can spill my guts out to you. I mean, I wanted him over so he could see how much it sucks for someone like me and maybe get on with confessing because I can tell he adores you and I know you’re hurting like I did. Anyway, you won’t tell me it’ll be okay, right? I feel like lost something important, but it doesn’t even matter. None of our memories even feel real. They might as well be some story I made up out of a novel I’ll never finish.”

“You aren’t even a writer,” Baekhyun attempts as a means to lighten the mood; Jongdae at least cracks a smile. “But he could be right. It could be better one day since the surgery is only supposed to take away romantic feelings and nothing more. Maybe loving him as just a friend will come back.”

“Our friendship was tied into all my lovey dovey feelings for him,” he huffs then angrily bites into his food. “I can’t love him without being friends first. But you should understand, right? Don’t think I don’t notice when you rush off to the bathroom.”

Baekhyun stiffens for a second time and wonders why Jongdae needs him to admit he has it too. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re imagining things,” Baekhyun tries to deny; he needs Jongdae to let this go.

“Am I really when this conveniently only happens when Yixing’s around and mentions _ anything _ about Chanyeol that you don’t like,” he states and Baekhyun groans and slinks down into his chair. Talking about his Yixing feelings was the last thing on his mind when he showed up. They’re supposed to be talking about _ Jongdae’s feelings _ and he opens his mouth to remind his friend, but Jongdae speaks first. “Also, while you were over once I dug into the trash and found rose petals. I got suspicious.”

“Gross,” Baekhyun whines, sticking out his tongue at Jongdae. Though, if Jongdae went as far as going through garbage, he knows this isn’t going to be a dropped topic. But if helping Jongdae open up about his feelings means he has to spill his own then so be it. “Is it that obvious?” he sighs in defeat.

“You always have stars in your eyes when you speak about him. And maybe are just a smig happier with him compared to the rest of us.”

“Because he makes me happy,” Baekhyun pouts. He wants to make Yixing happy too, but the idiot is currently trying to get Chanyeol’s attention. “Am I stupid for agreeing to this whole friends with benefits thing?”

Jongdae stares blankly at him and flattens his lips together. _ Okay, I am stupid. _ “Did you get Hanahaki before or after?” Jongdae asks. “I think that would change my yes to a maybe.”

“A little before,” he answers shyly and Jongdae shakes his head, mumbling _ ‘fucking idiot,’ _ under his breath while Baekhyun focuses on eating.

It isn’t his fault feelings naturally developed for his best friend over time. They’ve been friends since middle school with Yixing being the new student Baekhyun took an instant liking to. It may have taken them a while to become friends with how shy Yixing was thanks to being in a new environment, but after the day Baekhyun invited Yixing over to play video games, they’ve been inseparable since. Through all the visits to each others’ houses, late nights sneaking out, and phone calls when they couldn’t see one another due to being sick, Baekhyun had developed a full blown crush. And he thought it would go away over time, but it only got worse when they went to separate universities. Baekhyun had _ longed _ to be just around Yixing so of course the monthly visits one of them would make to the other were the highlight of every semester.

After they graduated, Baekhyun had moved into the same city, _ same apartment _ as Yixing with encouragement from his best friend. _ There’s so much to do! I have to take you to my favorite café! You’ll love my friends—the ones you haven’t met, I mean, _ Baekhyun remembers Yixing saying after they had set down the last of Baekhyun’s belongings and ordered fried chicken. He thought it had meant Yixing wanted to move their friendship into something more romantic, especially considering neither of them had dated, let alone have sex. Naturally, his entire world came crashing down when Yixing introduced his very first boyfriend, Sehun, a few short weeks later. _ Fuck internships, _Baekhyun had thought at the time.

It was the second worst experience of Baekhyun’s life as he had to watch Yixing date and be happy with Sehun while he was outright miserable. Of course Baekhhyun kept telling himself it wasn’t because he was in love, no, it was because he was _ highly infatuated _ with Yixing. Thank fuck it only lasted three months and twenty-two days and now Baekhyun can proudly say he and Sehun are friends.

But then came the absolute worst thing to ever happen in the form of Kim Junmyeon, Yixing’s first true love. Baekhyun had met Junmyeon four months and three days after Yixing and Sehun’s relationship had ended and he had assumed Yixing’s new relationship with Junmyeon would fizzle out just as fast.

_ Fucking. Wrong. _

Baekhyun never understood what Yixing saw in Junmyeon, only how it made him feel worthless next to him. Junmyeon was smart and rich and told terrible jokes that made Yixing smile and tried to cook when he really had no skill for it. Junmyeon was everything Baekhyun wanted to be for Yixing but couldn’t and it hurt. _ Bad. _Baekhyun hadn’t fully understood why he was so upset, so angry at Yixing when Yixing was his best friend. His best friend who he barely saw and when he did, he was with Junmyeon.

He didn’t understand until one day he finally had Yixing to himself because Junmyeon was out of town. But expectantly, Yixing was on the phone with Junmyeon as Baekhyun worked on editing photos to submit to his boss. Baekhyun had glanced over as Yixing sat at the kitchen table and thought how beautiful Yixing was and how there was a certain tone to his voice, a certain smile he had never seen before. A certain _ everything _ Yixing had only given to Junmyeon and Baekhyun had wished hard he could be one Yixing loved because he wanted them to be in love. The realization made him sick and he spent the day wanting any sort of attention from Yixing but even without Junmyeon physically there, Yixing was still so wrapped up in him.

When Junmyeon came back, things that just ticked Baekhyun off before became unbearable. He hated hearing about their dates, hearing them laugh together, hearing Yixing moan late at night because of Junmyeon. He hated it all because he was in love. He needed to get out and luckily, their lease was up. Yixing had said it made no sense to _ ‘abandon’ _ him and Baekhyun obviously lied and said he wanted his own space. Maybe that's why Yixing was bitter about him moving in with Sehun and didn’t offer to help.

But whatever because Sehun was there and Baekhyun will forever be grateful for Sehun who forced him to go out and have _ fun. _ Sehun didn’t mention any names, but he said it made being in love hurt less. Baekhyun thinks he was kind of right as he found himself forgetting about Yixing for a while when he had random men under and over him. He almost completely forgot until Yixing had showed up at his door crying over Junmyeon. Seeing Yixing had reminded him all over again how much he was in love with his best friend.

Of course it took a while for Yixing to be completely over Junmyeon, but when he was, Baekhyun thought he would finally have his chance. He even thought about confessing. And once again he was wrong because Park Chanyeol came into the picture and Yixing had talked about him in the same goofy way he had about Sehun and Junmyeon. It made Baekhyun feel ill and then the first petal came when Yixing actually admitted he wanted to get to know Chanyeol more. Guess his body couldn’t take the pain anymore, telling him to either get Yixing to fall in love or die.

Baekhyun thinks he’s live a good life until now. Yixing always had a way of making him feel safe and happy and _ loved _ as friends and that’s more than he could have asked for. Plus he got to be a photographer like he wanted, he thinks as an afterthought.

“I was hoping we’d be incompatible with sex, but all it did was make me want more,” Baekhyun says quietly as he helps Jongdae destroy the pizza box. He’s shocked Yixing actually agreed in the first place to, _ ‘We’re both single and might as well fuck me while you’re waiting for Chanyeol to come around.’ _ It may have also took some begging and a few, _ ‘I just need some steady dick in my life until my crush notices me too’_s, but it worked in the end, even if Baekhyun had to tack on an additional lie of liking his co-worker. But he _ needed _ to know what it felt like to be held and touched by Yixing; so what if it lacked the intimacy he desired. It still lacks a lot, but it’s enough for now, even though it hurts and led to having Hanahaki. “He’s really perfect,” Baekhyun sighs. Jongdae stacks their dishes onto an unstable pile in the sink. Baekhyun begins to pull all the dishes out; maybe Jongdae wasn’t as good as he thought. He takes a real good look around the kitchen to see the mess he hadn’t noticed before with far too many stains on the counters and fridge. Baekhyun wonders what the hell happened after Jongdae’s brother left. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Then you could confess and if he rejects you like Minseok did me, get the surgery,” Jongdae suggests. Baekhyun knows he won’t handle rejection well and all it would do is make him die sooner. “You won’t ever love Yixing again, but then that means there’s someone else out there for you.”

Baekhyun doesn’t speak, instead he focuses on washing dishes and cleaning the kitchen without much help from Jongdae. There are comments every now and then about Baekhyun having missed a spot or where to put a certain dish. By the time he’s done, the kitchen looks near spotless. He couldn’t get that stubborn stain off of the stove.

They then go into the living room and Baekhyun takes a hard look at the dirty floor. He’ll have to spend the night and vacuum in the morning, he thinks as he lies on the couch. Jongdae joins him and slips right into Baekhyun’s hold, making sure they face each other. Baekhyun rubs his hand soothingly down Jongdae’s back and starts humming one of Jongdae’s favorite songs, hoping it helps. It seems wrong to have a friend you’ve shared countless memories with but feel no type of way towards them. Baekhyun refuses to even think about putting himself through that torture.

When he knows Jongdae is nearly asleep, Baekhyun takes a deep breath from how dumb he’s about to sound. “I don’t want the surgery,” Baekhyun states calmly.

Jongdae’s eyes pop wide open and his mouth drops as he grips Baekhyun’s shirt. “Baekhyun, you’ll die if you don’t get the surgery,” Jongdae sleepily whines.

“I don’t care,” he sighs. “I love Yixing and for me, there’s no one else.”

Jongdae shakes his head and holds onto Baekhyun, closer and tighter than before. “You’ll think differently when you’re coughing up blood and stems and whole flowers. You don’t understand how painful it is. It only gets worse. You’re hacking up roses and those have _ thorns. _”

Baekhyun swallows hard. _ Sounds horrible. _ Then again, if it means not having to live the rest of his life being distant from Yixing it’s worth it. “If you say so.”

“I know so,” he yawns. “If Yixing never loves you back—which he’d be stupid not to—I want you to buy me the biggest breakfast I can stand to eat after your surgery for saying I told you so.”

Baekhyun hums, not really agreeing or disagreeing. There could be a small chance Yixing would love him back. It’s not like Yixing became a bad friend like when he was with Junmyeon and gives all his time and attention to Chanyeol. Yixing always making sure he and Baekhyun grab lunch or dinner together a few times a week when Baekhyun’s work schedule doesn’t conflict with anything. There’s a balance this time and it gives Baekhyun a little more faith things could work out in his favor. But with how much Yixing talks about Chanyeol, it almost feels silly to have hope. Dying seems much more realistic. Sure vomiting and coughing up petals more constantly will hurt and drain his energy, but Baekhyun can’t imagine a lifetime watching Yixing be happy with someone else. 

Not much is said after, Jongdae’s soft snores filling most of the silence. Baekhyun attempts to watch TV, but nothing good is on and he’s too lazy to even scroll through Netflix or the like. He grabs his phone from his pocket and texts Yixing. He doesn’t expect a response, but is all too giddy when he sends, _ ‘you owe me for bailing on Jongdae. he really thought you were coming. are the puppies fine,’ _ that he gets a, _ ‘ah really? sorry. i’m with yeol at a bakery. he’s buying me a cake slice as thanks for helping him with the puppies so last minute uwu they’re safe. i’ll bring jongdae cake when we’re done!’ _ just a minute later. Yixing really didn’t have to add he was still with Chanyeol, but at least they aren’t too preoccupied. Baekhyun quickly texts back, _ ‘1 it’s fucking way too late and Dae is sleeping. 2 You owe ME cake. Pls drop it off at my place,’ _ and just _ maybe _ Yixing will ditch Chanyeol for him for once.

Or maybe not when he reads Yixing’s reply.

  
  
  


**LOML [11:58PM]**

_ i’ll take you out for lunch + cake tomorrow during lunch break _

_ it’ll start those mondays you hate so much off right _

  
  
  


**Baekhyun [11:58PM]**

_ marry me <3 _

  
  
  


**LOML [12:01AM]**

_ lol say when. but i’ll see you tomorrow _

  
  
  


Baekhyun sends a smiley face and leaves their conversation at that, knowing Yixing won’t respond any further anyway. He does his best to suppress a cough to not wake Jongdae and thankfully only three nearly dry petals come up this time. After tossing them to the ground, Baekhyun closes his eyes, drifting off to sleep and wondering when jokes will become a reality.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Something about today is weird, Baekhyun thinks as he sits in front of his laptop; everything is going well,_ too well. _ He and his team wrapped up their three-day photoshoot a whole day early and he only had to go in for an hour for a meeting late in the morning. He’s sure Sehun being one of the models for this particular story he’s shooting for helped, guiding one of the newer models the entire time, and will surely have to get his friend an extra house warming gift before the party next Friday. Then he stopped by his favorite café, Tempo, and was surprisingly greeted by both Minseok _ and _ Jongdae who he learned were hanging out for the first time in weeks _ and _ got a free cinnamon apple muffin.

Then there was Yixing who was already in his apartment and lying on the couch when he got home. And by some miracle, Yixing hadn’t announced he already had plans for the evening and was just stopping by for an hour or two and instead said he wanted to spend the rest of Saturday with him as he continued to flip through one of Baekhyun’s magazines. It felt kind of odd considering they haven’t had a proper day of just them two since Chanyeol came along, but this could be a sign. Baekhyun thought Yixing being in a relationship with Chanyeol was definitely happening, but it’s a blessing if their relationship ended before it could begin and maybe he’ll stop coughing up fourteen petals and go back down to three and eventually hit zero.

So Baekhyun had greeted Yixing with a small wave and said he needed some time to edit and pick photos for work before they could do anything and Yixing just smiled and hummed and continued to read magazines and glance at the TV every so often.

And now Baekhyun was slowly finishing touching up one of the last few photos he had left for today. Just two more after this and Yixing was all his. So he works diligently on his laptop and adjusts his sitting position on the floor from having his legs folded to stretching them underneath the coffee table. A few minutes pass before he feels Yixing slide behind him, hands at his waist and legs caging his own.

Baekhyun giggles when he feels lips against his neck from how much it tickles, but swats Yixing’s hand away when he feels it run along his stomach. “Yixing, stop,” Baekhyun breathes through.

“Stop what?” Yixing whispers before nipping at Baekhyun’s ear.

_ Stop treating me like how’ve seen you with Sehun and Junmyeon unless you mean it. _ He coughs and feels a single petal come up and swallows it back down. “You know what you’re doing,” Baekhyun huffs. “Besides, aren’t you being a bit too personal right now?”

“Nope. I want you to pick me over work,” he says, kissing along his neck once more.

Baekhyun’s eyes hit the back of his head. It only ever seems too personal when he’s the one to initiate contact and not Yixing. “I want to get these photos out of the way. I’m almost done.”

“You can do that later. Doesn’t fucking me sound more fun?”

Baekhyun then twists his neck to say, “Or I can finish this now and the rest of my time is yours. _ Uninterrupted. _”

“Fine,” he huffs and removes himself from behind Baekhyun to lie on the floor, head resting in Baekhyun’s lap. Baekhyun hums and moves on to the second to last photo when Yixing casually states, “Then can I suck you off while you work?”

Baekhyun peers down at Yixing who looks at him with the fondest smile. “You’re annoying,” he sighs as he shuts his laptop. He knows if he doesn’t give Yixing attention now, he’ll be pestering him until he does. For someone so insistent on them keeping sex so impersonable, Yixing sure does seem to want a lot of it. But Baekhyun doesn’t mind one bit if it means more time with his best friend and a chance of Yixing falling for him with each fuck.

“I win?” Yixing smirks and sits up. He then maneuvers Baekhyun’s legs from underneath the table and pulls him toward himself until Baekhyun is properly seated in his lap.

In lieu of a verbal answer, Baekhyun loops his arms around Yixing’s neck and kisses him softly, enjoying however long Yixing will let it continue. Unfortunately, only a few seconds go by before Yixing disconnects their lips to connect his to Baekhyun’s neck with short, barely there kisses. Baekhyun lets out a quiet whine, but is ignored so he pulls himself away from Yixing to get on his back, arms pillowing his head. Might as well lie here and let Yixing do all the work if he can’t get even a little taste of what he wants. Yixing doesn’t seem to mind as he crawls over, hands heading straight for Baekhyun’s sweats.

With a lift of Baekhyun’s lips, Yixing easily pushes his sweats down and off and wraps his fingers around his cock and tugs a few times before lying on the floor to get eye level with Baekhyun’s hips. Baekhyun sits up only to rid himself of his shirt and then gets back in his original position. Then it starts slow, the way Yixing’s hand glides up and down Baekhyun’s cock and fingers curl around his balls. Baekhyun breathes deep and closes his eyes, letting this moment be embedded into his memory. Firm hand at his hip; soft lips wrapped around his cock—Baekhyun needs to remember every single detail to replay, to imagine a little of what it’s like to be loved by Yixing. He laughs to himself, knowing Jongdae and Sehun would call him pathetic for being this desperate for affection.

“What’s so funny?” Yixing asks, pulling Baekhyun away from his thoughts. He tries not to look too hard at Yixing’s spit slicked lips and think of what it’d be like to kiss them, messy and heated.

Baekhyun shakes his head. “It’s nothing,” he sighs and actually stares at defined abs for what feels like the first time when Yixing tosses all clothing aside.

“Really, nothing?” Yixing questions as he straddles Baekhyun and moves his hips languidly against his friend, hands steadying themselves on Baekhyun’s chest. Baekhyun bites his tongue and settles his hands lightly on Yixing’s thighs. “Don’t you think you should be focused on me then?”

“Guess you should be making me pay more attention, hm?” Baekhyun smirks through despite fighting the urge to tell Yixing he always has his attention. Maybe it’ll get Yixing to loosen his guard a bit more. Yixing glares then leans in, pressing lips against Baekhyun’s ear, but says nothing. “Yeah, Xing?” he hums. “You can have _ all _ my attention if you were to kiss me properly, _ fuck me _ like I really want. You know that, don’t you?” His fingers slip up Yixing’s back and into his hair. “That could solve all distractions I seem to have.”

Yixing nips at Baekhyun’s ear and shifts to face Baekhyun directly. “Nope,” he responds with a smile and Baekhyun would throw Yixing off of him if he didn’t want his dick so, so bad. “We’re fine as we are. Told you already, I really do like you fucking me,” he says and pecks Baekhyun on the lips and begins grinding against Baekhyun again. “I don’t need all of it, just focus a bit more on me, okay?”

_ I want to give you everything though. _ “One day, I’m going to find someone who really wants to fuck me,” Baekhyun says just to tick Yixing off. He hears Yixing scoff before his friend is getting up to sit on the couch. Baekhyun crawls over so he’s settled right between Yixing’s legs. “Or maybe you want me to find someone else so you can run off with Chanyeol sooner? Is that why?”

“Stop bringing him up every time we do this,” Yixing groans just as Baekhyun licks up his cock. “I don’t want to think about him when we’re like this.”

_ Funny. _ Baekhyun’s pretty sure _ Yixing _ is the one who keeps bringing Chanyeol up lately for the sole purpose of getting a reaction and making Baekhyun do what he wants. Baekhyun does it simply because he can’t help it. Not when he’s bitter that Chanyeol will get everything he wants and at this point Baekhyun just needs to understand _ why _Yixing can’t be bothered to fuck him right, even if only once, despite already telling him repeatedly it’s because he was tired of topping. That can’t be it and Chanyeol could be the reason and sex is the only time he can think it’s appropriate to talk about Chanyeol considering Yixing brushes off every other attempt when they’re just hanging out. “Yeah right. Bet he’s what you think about to come.” Baekhyun glances up to see Yixing looking highly unamused; it makes Baekhyun snicker. Thankfully Yixing is used to it by now and grabs Baekhyun by the chin, forcing his lips to part.

“You talk too much,” Yixing rasps and presses the tip of his cock against Baekhyun’s lips.

A soft hum escapes Baekhyun’s lips and usually he’d move on, but he wants to press his luck and takes Yixing’s cock into his hand, gently, slowly moving it along the shaft and teasing the head every now and then. “Do I, really?” Baekhyun asks. “Then I’ll go find someone else who likes all my talking,” he teases.

“You’ve been saying that a lot lately yet you always come back.”

“I can’t help coming back to you. I like us like this too,” he accidentally admits far too soon and scrunches his nose to hide the embarrassment. “Stop smiling.” Baekhyun flattens his lips as Yixing’s grin grows even bigger. “You shouldn’t be too happy. I really could find someone else,” he tries to protest. “You’re not even the be—”

“Shush,” he says and immediately proceeds to tug Baekhyun up by the arm and shut him up with a kiss. Baekhyun eagerly climbs into Yixing’s lap as Yixing pulls him close. It _ almost _ feels different this time when Yixing doesn’t shy away and slides his tongue across Baekhyun’s bottom lip. Baekhyun’s lips part; he’s nearly stunned by the tiny action and even more so when Yixing slips his tongue into his mouth. _ Maybe he— _

As soon as Baekhyun lets out the smallest moan, Yixing instantly breaks their kiss.

“What?” Baekhyun whines. _ Of course it was too fucking good to be true. _ “Why’d you stop?”

“Reasons,” Yixing shrugs. “Now fuck me, please?” Baekhyun hesitates for a moment, wanting to punch Yixing for getting his hopes up that _ something _ was changing between them, but gets off of Yixing and motions for him to follow without a word. _ Finding someone else to fuck while I’m miserable doesn’t sound too bad, _ he thinks on the way. He leads him to the guest bedroom. “We could just use your room,” Yixing comments as he sits in the center of the bed and wiggles his toes. “I used to fuck Sehun in here. It’s weird.”

“Boundaries,” is all Baekhyun says before he’s digging through the nightstand for lube. Once found, he joins Yixing on the bed, hovering over him.

“I don’t like this one,” he pouts then hisses when Baekhyun slips two lubed fingers inside of him. Baekhyun naturally cackles as he moves his fingers in and out a few times before spreading the liquid over his cock. “It’s cold you asshole.”

“Can’t help that,” Baekhyun snickers through as he moves Yixing to position himself on all fours. He thinks he hears grumbles of being polite and giving warnings, but ignores them.

Once Yixing stills, Baekhyun holds Yixing by the hip and rests the tip of his cock against Yixing’s rim. It takes little effort for Yixing to slink back onto Baekhyun’s cock and start a rhythm of moving back and forth, making sure the tip catches his rim every single time before he slides back down. And Baekhyun doesn’t do much aside from gently holding Yixing at the small of his back, feeling the motion of Yixing rocking back on his cock.

It’s nice and it feels good and he should be happy Yixing gives him this much, but it’s never enough. There’s still this overwhelming need to be closer and touch and hold and grip and scratch and just _ mark _ Yixing as his and he can’t. He can’t because Yixing set boundaries and wants to be in a relationship with Chanyeol and the thought of it alone has him silently holding in petals before they’re going back down his throat. He shouldn’t be happy that he got lucky fucking Yixing from behind so his friend won’t know how much pain he’s in from being in love.

Baekhyun’s stomach drops and he pulls out and leans back on his forearms, thoughts of how much longer he’ll put himself through this heavy on his mind. _ Great time to feel like shit. _ Yixing turns around, confusion clear on his face after giving Baekhyun a once over.

“Baekhyun? You look—are you okay?” Yixing asks. “You aren’t making stupid remarks anymore or anything and—and just—you’re quieter,” he adds.

“Come here,” Baekhyun rushes out, not wanting to give himself or Yixing time to really think on why he’s suddenly behaving so weird. Yixing sits there for a few seconds, head tilted, before Baekhyun commands,_ “Yixing, come here.” _

Yixing nods slowly and crawls over to Baekhyun before looping his arms around Baekhyun’s neck and pressing their lips timidly together. As Yixing guides Baekhyun to lie on his back, their kiss becomes a bit gentler, more relaxed when Yixing coaxes his mouth open and kisses him deeply. Baekhyun’s heart flutters at how attentive Yixing’s being right now and he knows it’s only for the little attention he’s barely giving, but he doesn’t care. The only thing on his mind is how much he has to stop himself from showing he’s enjoying this far too much so he pulls away first and places his hands onto Yixing’s waist, pinching one of his sides.

“Okay, okay,” Yixing snorts and lifts himself so he can sit right back on Baekhyun’s cock, hands steady on Baekhyun’s thighs. Baekhyun bites down on his bottom lip to keep himself from moaning too loud when Yixing rolls his hips slowly. “Better?” he sighs out.

“A little,” Baekhyun smirks, earning a glare from Yixing. “Guess you should—_fuck, Yixing you—_” he ends up moaning, words becoming a bumbling mess when Yixing begins bouncing up and down on his cock. It’s Yixing’s turn to grin before his lips are parting and soft whimpers leave them. Watching him move his hips, listening to his tiny hiccups, feeling his nails dig into his thighs—everything about Yixing is downright mesmerizing, Baekhyun thinks as he takes Yixing’s cock into his hand and tugs fast. _ God, he’s perfect. _

_“Baekh—I‘m—”_ Yixing gets out as he leans forward to kiss Baekhyun briefly, clutching onto his shoulders. _“Please.”_ Yixing doesn’t have to utter a single word more; Baekhyun automatically wraps his arms tight around him and thrusts up into Yixing, _hard._ _“God yes—fuck. Let me—please Baekhyun. I need—”_

“Hey, I got you,” Baekhyun whispers and reaches between them to jerk Yixing off again.

It’s Yixing who comes first, spilling over Baekhyun’s stomach and hand before he kisses him soundly on the lips. Baekhyun continues to fuck into Yixing until he comes moments later, Yixing squeezing hard around him. Yixing then pecks Baekhyun’s lips a few times and sits up, slowly removing himself off of Baekhyun to lie next to him on his back.

Baekhyun wipes his hand on the sheets and stares up at the ceiling, refusing to glance the slightest way in Yixing’s direction. If he doesn’t, he won’t have to acknowledge how content his friend must look or entertain any thoughts on what it’d be like to kiss Yixing for minutes on end post sex. So he focuses on the ceiling and tries to think if he has anything around the house to take care of. He could wash Mongryong’s stuffed toys, but he’s sure the pup would be frantically searching the apartment for them, especially the elephant, if he doesn’t have them dried in time due to laziness. He doesn’t want Mongryong coming from his playdate toyless. Then there’s the dishes, Baekhyun really doesn’t feel up to doing that either. He sighs to himself and jumps a little when he feels a nudge to his side.

“You seem kind of out of it,” Yixing comments once his breathing has evened out. “You okay?”

_ Not really. _ Baekhyun turns his head, finally staring at Yixing and thinking how beautiful he always is. He wonders if it would it be a good idea to confess now; they just had sex and emotions could be running high. _ No. _ “It’s nothing,” Baekhyun half-smiles and faces the ceiling again. He’ll confess, soon, just not today. Today is already going so well and he can’t ruin it now. He has to play things out first before picking a perfect time.

When Baekhyun’s had enough of his own thoughts and Yixing’s silence, he sits up and straddles Yixing by the waist. “So, what should we do now? It’s your turn to pick,” Baekhyun says and pokes Yixing repeatedly on his chest. “I’m hungry.” If he’s lucky, Yixing will suggest getting a bite to eat and offer to pay for dinner.

“Want to go to the movies?” Yixing suggests as he gently removes Baekhyun off of him and lies right back down. Baekhyun rolls his eyes and grabs the pair of shorts he sees lying on the floor. He recalls Yixing wearing them the last time he was over and puts them on despite needing to be thrown in the washer. Baekhyun then moves to sit on top of the small desk in the corner of the room. “We haven’t done that in a while and can fill up on a bunch of snacks until dinner.”

“I go with Sehun once a week. I’ve probably seen everything,” he responds and begins swinging his legs. “Plus I want real food and not snacks.”

“Then the arcade?” Yixing offers next and sits up, making sure to place a blanket completely over his lap. _ Unnecessary. _“We can order from that chicken shop next door and bring it over like we always do.”

“I went there last night with Sehun and this other model—Jongin—after our shoot ended. I texted you about it, remember? Even threw in going to the bar after and you said you were busy.”

“Oh.” Yixing puckers his lips and throws out, “Then out to the park? We can pick up Mongryong and take him,” that sounds more like a desperate attempt from running out of ideas already. Baekhyun wonders why thinking of just one place to go is so hard for his friend.

“Yixing, I’m not interrupting his playdate with Vivi.” Baekhyun wouldn’t ever dare to pry his and Sehun’s dogs away from each other. They’re always far too cute when they see each other and far too sad when they have to part. Baekhyun would rather pick up his corgi late at night while he’s still sleeping to avoid having to drag Mongryong away from Vivi. “Sehun would probably be annoyed if I did it.”

“Why is Sehun so involved in everything with you?” Yixing questions, accusing tone to his voice.

Baekhyun squints. “Because we’re friends,” he states simply. If he didn’t know any better, Baekhyun would swear Yixing was jealous of Sehun because of how close they’ve become and Sehun always occupied a lot—_a majority_—of Baekhyun’s time. But Baekhyun can’t help that they kind of work in the same industry and is just _ there _ when he needs him. Though he finds it hard to believe Yixing could get irked by a simple friendship.

“What? Think I’m going to replace you?” Baekhyun teases, singing tone to his voice.

“No, I just—sometimes I—ah, it’s stupid. Nevermind,” Yixing stutters through, pink tint to his cheeks. Baekhyun tilts his head, curious about why Yixing seems so shy all of a sudden, but chooses to ignore it over the tight, sickening feeling in his chest. _ My cue to leave. _ “Well, we hang out often enough already so I’m sure I can think of something to do.”

“Then figure out where we’re going while I go shower.”

Baekhhyun then hops off of the desk and goes over to Yixing, ruffling his hair before exiting the guest room and entering his own. He heads straight for the bathroom sink and to his surprise, they are only eight petals when he counts. Today might be weird in the best possible way Baekhyun thinks. This _ could _ be a sign of Yixing returning his love and maybe Yixing _ is _ jealous of Sehun and that blush _ did _ mean something. He happily cleans the sink and hops into the shower, forgetting to take his shorts off until he feels them sticking to his thighs.

After he peels the shorts off his body, Baekhyun begins washing himself, thinking of places he and Yixing could go. They could drop by the animal shelter and attempt to pick Yixing out a dog again, but the shelter doesn’t have food humans can eat and he’s pretty positive Chanyeol took him a few days ago. Baekhyun will have to find one out of town and that requires some planning. There’s also the library where he could check out a bunch of books on unrequited love that ends happily and they could go that expensive sandwich shop across the street. Yixing would just be far more interested in self-help books than taking the hint from random romance novels. Baekhyun sighs when he can’t think of anything else that would help in his quest to get Yixing to love him. He could always go with them walking downtown and popping into random shops and eating street food along the way. _ No. Too simple. _

Baekhyun stops thinking about Yixing to focus on actually getting himself clean. When he’s done and throws on fresh clothing, he searches for Yixing, finding him in the kitchen fully dressed in the same clothes he showed up in with an extra black and red zip-up hoodie taken from Baekhyun’s closet. It’s far thicker than the flimsy one he came in, he notes, and would gladly give Yixing his entire closet if it meant he’d dress a bit warmer for the winter. Baekhyun then notices damp hair and figures Yixing must used the second bathroom to shower.

“Where are you taking me?” Baekhyun asks as he sits across from Yixing, propping his arms on the table to rest his face in his palms.

“I was thinking we’d just go out and find something to do,” Yixing says. “Explore and all that.”

“Sure,” Baekhyun mumbles.

“You don’t want to? We can stay in—”

“Let’s go,” he interrupts. He’ll just have to figure out a way to keep all of Yixing’s attention and not have him get distracted looking in stores and at food. “I don’t want to stay in, so let’s go. I want to go out with you.” He even stands and holds out his hand for his friend to take. He tries not to be too disappointed when Yixing softly laughs and gets up without taking his hand. Baekhyun pouts all the way to the entrance. “You’re paying for everything,” he grumbles as he slips on his shoes then his coat.

“But you earn more than me,” Yixing points out, slight whine in his voice. “I am a simple university student still trying to get his dual masters.”

_ A program you would have been completed if you didn’t take an entire year off to travel the world with Junmyeon. _“A university student that happens to have his parents financially support him will pay for his best friend’s food today,” Baekhyun beams and clings to Yixing’s arm. Yixing huffs. “Are you really wearing just a hoodie out? It’s cold; borrow one of my coats instead.”

“I’ll get hot walking; I have my hoodie on underneath anyway. Let’s go.”

Yixing drags Baekhyun out of his apartment, auto-lock sounding behind them. “I forgot my wallet. And phone!” Baekhyun half-yells.

“I’m paying, remember?” Yixing says as he looks toward Baekhyun. “And they usually call me if they can’t contact you.”

_ True. _ Baekhyun can’t count the number of times a friend had to contact Yixing just to get in touch with him. “Okay, but can we at least go back to get you a hat?”

“I have my hood.” Yixing pulls his hood over his head. “See, good enough.”

“It’s really not.”

Yixing chuckles as he leads Baekhyun down the stairs and out of his apartment complex. They take Yixing’s car for a fifteen minute drive to downtown and luckily find a parking space at one of the lots right in the center of everything instead of the huge ramp located on the outskirts of the city. When they exit the car, Yixing walks right over to Baekhyun’s side, pulling the hood of his coat over his head for him.

“You get cold easily. Be careful,” Yixing scolds as they begin walking together side by side.

“Says the guy who’s wearing a hoodie when it’s supposed to snow later,” Baekhyun chimes back.

“Sun’s still out,” is Yixing’s only response as he points toward the sky before he’s shoving his hands into the pockets of his hoodie.

Baekhyun hums in acknowledgement and hooks his arm around Yixing’s, leaning as much as he can into his side. Thankfully, Yixing doesn’t seem bothered in the least bit and Baekhyun’s stomach flips in excitement. _ Exploring might not be so bad. _ They travel down brick sidewalk, weaving their way through far too many people for Baekhyun’s liking. It doesn’t help that some shopkeepers insist on having their Christmas trees still out on display nearly a month after the holiday has past, taking up even more of everyone’s limited space. Though, it does give reason to cling closer to Yixing no matter how annoying shuffling through crowds is.

Eventually, they stop in at a comic shop first—Galaxy to be exact—and Yixing immediately drags Baekhyun to where the figurines are on display. Baekhyun scrunches his nose at how stale the air seems, boarding on a not-so-pleasant odor. 

“Oh, look! They finally have that Goku super saiyan god figure back in stock,” Yixing excitedly gets out. Baekhyun looks at the placecard next to Goku says they have four left. Maybe he should have convinced Yixing a little harder to go back for his wallet.

As Yixing leaves his side Baekhyun walks along the long display, glancing over the rest of the figurines and noticing a few from anime Yixing had made them watch together. He stops when he sees a Lelouch Lamperouge in his Zero attire with a C.C. figurine attached in her classic white outfit. It reminds him of watching Code Geass on a weekly basis during their university days, Yixing always calling him through Skype every Friday morning so they could watch the old anime at the same time. It feels like a thousand years have gone by since then and Baekhyun wonders if Yixing would buy this for him just for memory’s sake. They could even do a rewatch tonight.

It takes a few more minutes of staring at Code Geass figurines and going back and forth in his mind to come back and buy a few or not before Yixing returns to his side. As soon as he does, Baekhyun’s latching onto his arm again. Baekhyun sees that he’s empty handed.

“Code Geass? Haven’t seen that in forever,” Yixing says. “I think there was some sort of movie with Lelouch still being alive.”

“Lelouch of the Resurrection,” Baekhyun informs. “It came out a while ago and played for a few nights over at EXO.”

“And we didn’t see it?” Yixing states, clearly shocked. “That’s one of the best parts of our uni days!”

“Well, I saw it with Kyungsoo. I asked you to come, but you were busy with Chanyeol,” he recalls as Yixing pulls him toward the checkout counter.

“That doesn’t sound like me, but who’s Kyungsoo?”

“You were in your whole _ ‘I don’t know anyone but Chanyeol’ _phase.” Baekhyun frowns, irritated that he’s reliving the fact that Yixing was going to see some other film with Chanyeol when it just came out over seeing Code Geass on its last night with him. He still answers, “Anyway, Kyungsoo is an intern at the company I’m currently contracted with. He’s really cute when he’s glaring everywhere from not having his glasses on. He’s a fan of it too, really likes Kallen so we went together. We didn’t know each other well so it was a good icebreaker.”

“Is he the co-worker you like?” Yixing asks quietly.

Baekhyun shakes his head. “No, but regardless, I’m over that.” Now Yixing knows he’s completely available. _ Think of the positives. _He doesn’t say anything after and watches the cashier set a boxed Goku and the Code Geass figurine Baekhyun had looked at earlier onto the counter as they approach. Yixing has a short conversation with the cashier as he pays and they then exit the store, Yixing humming to an unknown tune.

“Where to next?” Baekhyun asks.

“Don’t know. We’re just going with whatever, remember?” Yixing shrugs and unhooks their arms to link their fingers together instead. Baekhyun jumps at the contact. “Ah, there’s a hotteok stand. Want one?” Yixing asks despite leading them in the direction of the snack without an answer from Baekhyun.

“It’s okay until we get real food,” Baekhyun stutters, mentally blaming the cold weather. Yixing looks far too thrilled as they get closer to the hotteok stand, Baekhyun knowing Yixing could live the rest of his life off of sweets and soda. Luckily, they’re at the start of the international food district where they can find street foods from all over the world and Baekhyun won’t have to go home with a stomach ache because of too much sugar. He drools slightly from the mixed smell of spices and grilled meat in the air. “Your hand is cold,” Baekhyun notices belatedly. “We should find somewhere that sells gloves. And hats.” He gives Yixing a once over. “And scarfs though a coat would be preferable to buy.”

“I’m fine. You’re hand is good enough,” he smiles as they reach the hotteok stand. “Two please.”

Baekhyun wants to _ scream _ from how those few words makes his heart jump in joy. His hand is better than a glove? Yixing gets enough warmth from his hand? Baekhyun can’t stop grinning and does so even wider when Yixing sets down his bag and struggles to get money from his wallet but doesn’t let go of his hand. Maybe today feels off because it’s going to be _ special. _ Maybe Yixing has been sorting out his own feelings and that’s why he kissed him a bit longer than usual during sex and why he wanted them to spend the day together. Maybe Baekhyun is jumping to conclusions way too fast but whatever; he’ll take any hope he can get.

When Yixing pays, Baekhyun takes the two hotteok nestled in small paper cups from the vendor with his free hand and moves them off to the side out of anyone’s way. He takes a bite of the pancake treat, a bit of syrup gushing out his mouth from how hard he bites into it.

“You’re so messy,” Yixing chuckles. “Lucky she gave us napkins.”

“Shush,” Baekhyun groans and takes another bite of his hotteok before holding Yixing’s against his lips. Yixing gladly takes a bite of nearly half his treat, syrup falling from his chin. “And you called me messy? You’re far worse,” Baekhyun laughs and reluctantly lets go of Yixing’s hand to take a napkin from underneath Yixing’s hotteok to wipe at his friend’s face until it’s syrup free. Yixing then does the same for Baekhyun, making him blush.

“Are you getting cold?” Yixing asks and takes his hotteok from Baekhyun to quickly finish eating it. He stuffs the cup and used napkin into his hoodie pocket and then takes Baekhyun’s free hand once more. Baekhyun’s a thousand percent positive he’ll stay more than warm if the rest of their day continues as it has been. Sure, they’ve held hands and fed each other before, but today just _ feels different _ for some reason.

“I’m fine,” Baekhyun says and finishes up his treat as well. “My nose is kind of cold though.”

“Let’s get something warm again.” Baekhyun nods and lets Yixing lead the way toward a food cart of grilled chicken skewers. “This good?”

_ “God yes,” _ Baekhyun drools as he tries to pick which type of skewer he wants. _ The plain chicken? Mixed veggies? Beef and chicken? _ There are too many options. “I want them all,” he says turning to Yixing and tugging on the sleeve of his hoodie. Yixing chuckles as the elderly vendor laughs.

“They’re two bucks each,” the vendor informs even though there’s a colorful cardboard sign naming the price right on the front of his cart. “I’ll knock it down to one fifty if you really do buy one of each.”

Baekhyun’s eyes widen and he eagerly pulls at Yixing’s sleeve now. He can’t pass up a small deal like that. Yixing smiles as he shakes his head. “We’ll take two of each and I’ll still pay full price,” he says, setting down his bag between his legs then taking out his wallet for a few bills.

“I’ll make you fresh ones then,” the vendor hums and takes out raw ingredients and begins prepping their food.

“Thank you,” both Yixing and Baekhyun say in unison.

As they wait Baekhyun clings to Yixing once more, making sure to slip his hand into Yixing’s own. They stand in silence as the vendor places the skewers on the grill; Baekhyun’s stomach growls and he begins to swing their hands as they wait. Once their food is done, Baekhyun eagerly lets go of Yixing and takes all six from the vendor and thanks him as he shuffles off to the side. Yixing follows, scooting his bag along the ground with his foot.

“What if you rip the bag?” Baekhyun asks between blowing on his food and handing Yixing his own.

“The bag will live,” Yixing waves off and immediately bites into the beef and chicken skewer. Yixing hisses and spits his barely chewed food into his free palm. “Fuck, that’s hot,” he half-shouts.

Baekhyun cackles and slowly bites into his plain chicken skewer, testing to see if he cooled it off enough. It’s good, he determines and eats his first bite in peace. “It just came off the grill, dummy,” he points out and starts to cool off his food again.

“The air should be enough,” he sulks. “It’s cold out.”

“It wouldn’t work _ that _ fast.”

“Well, it should,” he says and pops the spit out piece of meat in his palm back into his mouth. Baekhyun sticks out his tongue in disgust despite having done something similar with food in the past. Yixing pushes Baekhyun gently on his arm. “Like you wouldn’t have.”

“Oh, you know I would,” he laughs. “Let’s find tacos after we eat these,” he then suggest.

Yixing nods and _ carefully _ bites his food this time, making Baekhyun smile. He has no trouble eating this time and the pair quickly finish off their chicken for Yixing to drag them further into the alley of food trucks and carts. And Yixing does find a truck owned by a nice young couple that sells numerous taco combos to buy four of their simpler tacos stuffed with beef and topped with queso fresco and some type of salsa that has both Yixing and Baekhyun’s mouth burning. Thankfully, a fresh fruit juice stand is next to the truck and Yixing pays for two watermelon drinks. The young couple laughs jokingly at their inability to handle a “mild” salsa and Baekhyun laughs in return, asking for a little less when Yixing buys them two more a piece.

Next, Yixing leads them to a vendor that sells hot pear juice even though they just finished downing fresh watermelon juice not too long ago. Yixing says it’s to keep them warm since it’s gotten a bit colder, but Baekhyun knows it’s to feel a bit closer to his grandparents who used to fix it every time they came to visit. With old age comes traveling less, at least with Yixing’s grandparents, and they didn’t feel up to flying overseas for Christmas or Chinese New Year for the past few years. Baekhyun makes a mental note to bring homemade pear juice to Yixing’s place more often.

The rest of their time is spent trying to walk off their food by going into various shops that are hit or miss. Yixing does manage to buy a few more notebooks to pen lyrics in during their mini journey downtown and Baekhyun even convinces him to get a pack of ice cream stickers to plaster over one of the “plain” white notebooks he bought. When Baekhyun’s feet have had enough walking, he begins to drag them against the ground as they exit the second-hand clothing shop.

“That strawberry beret would have looked cute on you,” Yixing says as he shoves his hands into his pockets. Baekhyun wonders how he ended up with Yixing’s bags until he remembers Yixing handed them over to look through the shirt racks. “I would have bought it.”

“And wasted three dollars,” Baekhyun sighs.

“I think all of today should prove I don’t mind spending money on you,” Yixing comments and takes the bag full of notebooks from Baekhyun’s wrist to stuff it inside the bag with his figurines. He then takes the slightly overweight bag from Baekhyun to hold and grabs Baekhyun’s hand with his free one. “Plus it would have went well with your pink hair.”

Baekhyun tries not to blush, but he already feels his cheeks heating up; maybe it’s a good thing because of the bitter air. “I would have worn it, like once, and what then?”

“Still wouldn’t have been a problem,” he shrugs and begins to drag Baekhyun in who knows what direction. “We could have went to a photo booth or something.”

“Which also would have been a waste of money. We have tons of pictures together already.” The both of the have countless photos together plastered over their room walls. Baekhyun doesn’t know if he even has space on the board he’s carefully coordinated for photos of just him and Yixing together.

“But I love you so I don’t mind and today only happens once,” Yixing fondly smiles and squeezes down on Baekhyun’s hand. Baekhyun’s eyes go wide and he stops walking. _ Could this be_—_does he mean_—Baekhyun’s heart won’t stop racing and he hands start to tremble and he hopes Yixing thinks it’s from the cold. “We’re best friends, right?”

Baekhyun pouts. _ Of fucking course it was too good to be true. _ Yixing could have at least waited a few minutes to clarify so he could live in his own delusional world a bit longer. “Yeah, yeah,” he brushes off. They need a change in topic. “I’m full and kinda sleepy,” Baekhyun yawns as he tugs on the hem of Yixing’s hoodie. “Let’s go home.”

“Your place or mine?” Yixing asks. At the next intersection, Yixing turns them left and begins to guide them assumingly back in the direction of his car; Baekhyun hasn’t the slightest clue of where they are, this area of downtown too unrecognizable at night.

“Mine. I want to edit the last few photos I had,” he answers. 

“Alright. Let’s go home.”

Baekhyun hums and continues to let Yixing lead the way. It’s silent for the most part; the only time they really speak is when they cross the bridge over a river. Baekhyun comments about the time his uncle took a trip here and went fishing, only to catch nothing. It makes Yixing laugh and talk a little about the summers he spent in China fishing on a lake. Baekhyun’s heard it all before, but listening to Yixing is always nice and his voice calms him in a way no one else could.

“I wish we spent more time like this,” Baekhyun says quietly, absentmindedly, as he realizes they’re about five minutes from Yixing’s car when he sees his favorite café, Tempo, come into view.

“And what’s this?” Yixing asks, voice curious and light. “Aren’t we always like this?”

“Don’t know,” he mumbles, eyes flicking up as snow begins to fall. He can’t possibly tell Yixing he wishes he could spend every day not having to worry about dying. The thought or feeling of having to throw up petals hasn’t come up once since they left his apartment. He actually spent time with Yixing being carefree and in love.“I just feel happier today,” he settles on.

“Want to grab hot choco from Tempo since you like having it while you work?” Yixing stops them, pointing at the café just a few feet away. “It’ll be the last time I get to spoil you today.”

“You really know me best. The love of my life really,” he half-jokes as he pulls Yixing toward Tempo.

“Ha, ha. Then when’s our first date?” Yixing playfully questions.

“When you officially ask me out,” he responds and hopefully that plants a seed in Yixing’s mind. “We wouldn’t even be friends if it weren’t for me. It’s the least you could do.” When they enter the café, Baekhyun is a little surprised Tempo isn’t packed full of customers despite the time of day. It’s _ always _ packed and Baekhyun tries to remember if anything special was happening tonight somewhere else, but fails. Only a few tables are occupied by patrons, all with caffeinated drinks or smoothies by their side. That means no waiting in line to order after that stupidly tall person in line is done.

“Funny. Which reminds me, in a few days I’m—oh Chanyeol? It’s Chanyeol,” Yixing points at the _ ‘stupidly tall person’ _ when said person turns to the side. _ Just great. _ “Want to say hi?” It isn’t like he cay say no without being questioned so Baekhyun moves them forward until they’re standing behind an oblivious Chanyeol at the pick-up counter. Yixing instantly lets go of Baekhyun’s hand and Baekhyun tries not to be offended. If they were really just friends, it shouldn’t matter, right? Yixing taps on Chanyeol’s shoulder and as soon as he turns around, Yixing says, “Ah, Chanyeol! Didn’t expect to run into you here.”

“Yixing!” Chanyeol beams and then brings Yixing in for a hug. A _ long _ hug in which Chanyeol takes the time to look at Baekhyun and roll his eyes. _ Fucking asshole. _ He lets go of Yixing then says, “It’s nice to see you too Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun forces a smile and gives a simple, “Same,” in return and forces himself to listen to Yixing’s conversation as he takes a peek at the baked goods in the display.

“So, what are you doing here?” Yixing asks. “Thought you were working.”

“Still am,” Chanyeol answers. “My coworker swears by their coffee so it’s become a habit to stop here during breaks. I’m grabbing coffee for the team this time.”

“It’s awfully late to be working.”

“The price of working at an emergency vet clinic,” he pouts. “Hopefully I’ll be able to find something else soon. What are you and Baekhyun up to?”

“Still hanging out, though we’re heading back to his place to probably watch movies,” Yixing answers.

Chanyeol frowns, but quickly replaces it with a smile. “Ah, sounds fun. I’ll see you in a few days for our date.” _ Date? Did Chanyeol just say date? _Chanyeol then grabs the two cup holders from the counter that the barista just sat down.

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Yixing grins.

“Alright, I got to run. You two have a good night.”

As soon as Chanyeol exits Tempo, Baekhyun immediately turns to face Yixing with wide eyes and stutters through, “What’d he mean by date?” because he must have heard wrong. Yixing _ can’t _ date again. Dating Chanyeol means—he just _ can’t. _

“We have our first date together this Tuesday,” Yixing smiles, looking all too excited at the mention of it. “I asked him yesterday and he said yes.”

Baekhyun’s heart drops and he nods slowly, feeling sick. He needs to get away from Yixing _ fast. _ “Go order our drinks. I need to go to the restroom,” he rushes out before he’s running to the restroom and stumbling into the nearest stall, coughing, _ choking _ and this can’t be good. His throat feels as if it’s slowly being torn apart and Baekhyun prays there’s enough noise in the café to drown out how much pain he sounds like he’s in. It feels like an eternity has passed by the time _ it _ finally frees itself from his throat. The blobs of petals and bits of food don’t shock him in the least, but Baekhyun is in total disbelief when he sees fucking _ roots _ and _ thorns. _ It has him throwing up even more into the toilet for a second time.

When his chest stops heaving and he can breathe properly, Baekhyun collapses to the floor and lies trying to make sense of why his Hanahaki has gotten worse now of all times. He’s been known that Yixing has the biggest crush on Chanyeol; them going on one date shouldn’t change how his body responds. He shouldn’t be upset. This was expected and he really has no right to be—

_ “Fuck, fuck fuck!” _ Baekhyun cries then slams his fist against the stall door. _ Why now? Why now of all times? _ He could have found out over text, over a phone call, but to see Yixing be happy with Chanyeol _ in person _is too much to handle right now. He needs to get away from Yixing before he ends up puking all night.

Baekhyun picks himself up off the floor and goes over to the sink, washing his hands and splashing his face with water a few times. His face looks like shit, but it’s not like it matters. He doesn’t have to speak if he doesn’t want to and he’ll be avoiding Yixing indefinitely anyways. He exits the restroom to see Yixing sitting at a table with their drinks. Baekhyun ignores his friend’s tiny wave, pulling his hood over his head, and heads straight for the exit, not caring that he can hear Yixing calling after him. He doesn’t need Yixing to take him home; taxis exist. He heads toward the large parking lot where Yixing parked his car, remembering a taxi stop across the road. Not even a minute goes by before there’s a nudge to his arm and a breathless Yixing walking right next to him.

“Baekhyun, what happened?” Yixing pants. “You left in a hurry, but you don’t have your phone with you, so what’s up? Did someone bother you in the restroom?”

_ Leave me alone. _ It isn’t the first time he’s left Yixing without warning so this should be no different. Baekhyun gives a clipped response of, “No,” and hopes Yixing will let him be.

It unfortunately doesn’t work.

“Well, I got you your hot choco. Added whipped cream,” he informs as he tries to hand the drink over. Baekhyun doesn’t take it. “Um, what do you want to do after you finish editing? I was thinking of watching that one movie—Werewolf in London? Something like that. Chanyeol was talking about it the other day and I can’t stop thinking about it. We should be able to stream it.”

_ Fucking Chanyeol. Why does he have to bring up Chanyeol? _Yixing probably isn’t going to let him go home alone so Baekhyun snaps, “Just hurry and take me home.”

“Oh—um—okay. Are you sure you’re alright?” Baekhyun doesn’t answer and chooses to follow behind Yixing instead. At least he doesn’t try to start a conversation on their way back to his car. The same can’t be said for when they’re buckled up and Yixing is pulling out of the car lot. “Did I do something wrong?” Yixing quietly gets out then adds a near silent, “We were fine before we were at Tempo.”

“I’m tired,” is all Baekhyun says as he turns to face the window.

The short drive back that should be filled with laughter and singing is filled with nothing but a stifling silence. It’s unbearable and Baekhyun wishes he would have taken a taxi instead of settling for a ride from Yixing. Feet hurt. Heart hurts. Thinking hurts and all it does it make his throat burn and eyes swell. And stealing small glances at Yixing makes him want to puke all over the floor and he _ has _ to keep it all in. Yixing can’t find out he’s in love when he’s so happy to start a relationship with Chanyeol.

When they arrive at Baekhyun’s place, Baekhyun doesn’t wait for Yixing and heads straight to his apartment in a rush. He quickly rids himself of his shoes and coat, dumping them carelessly in the entryway as soon as he unlocks his door. He then goes to his bedroom and locks the door. If he won’t come out, maybe Yixing will leave if he followed him all the way up here. Baekhyun strips himself of his clothing, tossing everything in its proper place of the hamper before putting on black sweats and a black t-shirt for pajamas. He throws up into the wastebin, same as the café, before he lies down on his bed ready to cry himself to sleep until the doorknob jiggles just a few short minutes later and a loud knock is heard.

“Baekhyun, let me in,” Yixing calls. “Just—just tell me what I did wrong or if something happened so I can help fix it.” Yixing knocks on the door again. “Baekhyun, please.” _ Ignore him and he’ll go away, _ Baekhyun tells himself and squeezes his eyes shut, but Yixing continues to plead and knock on the door every few minutes. Baekhyun wants to scream at how persistent Yixing can be. He just wants to wallow in his own misery and Yixing won’t let him. And Baekhyun can’t even be mad because Yixing is just being a good friend, a really oblivious friend who wants to help. Baekhyun groans and begrudgingly gets up out of bed and scoots his trashcan underneath his desk before sluggishly walks over to the door. He can fake being somewhat happy for a few more hours if it means he gets to ignore Yixing once he leaves.

Another knock sounds throughout the room before Baekhyun takes a deep, deep breath and opens the door. He immediately wraps his arms around Yixing and then a muffled, “I’m sorry,” slips pass Baekhyun’s lips.

Yixing hugs him back, slowly rocking them as he asks, “What’s gotten into you, hm?”

“Nothing, I’m just—” he begins softly, “My stomach kind of hurts and I want to nap.” It isn’t a complete lie.

“Are you sure this has _ nothing _ to do with anything that happened at Tempo?” he questions and cups Baekhyun by the chin so they face each other directly. “You know you can trust me.”

Baekhyun nods stiffly. “I do, but can you just let me sleep? I’m tired.” He then quickly buries his face into Yixing’s neck.

“Okay,” Yixing agrees and then ruffles Baekhyun’s hair before guiding him back into his bedroom and to his bed. “You’ll have trouble sleeping later, you know,” Yixing says as he slips in next to Baekhyun so they face each other.

“Don’t care,” he mumbles and clings to his _ friend, _ knowing this will be one of the last few times he gets to do this. Yixing never liked them being too touchy when he’s in a relationship. “I don’t have to be back into the office until Tues—”

_ The day of your date. _

_ I can’t do this. _

Baekhyun feels sick all over again. He needs a trashcan _ now. _ “I’m going to take a bath,” he announces as he yanks himself away from Yixing and hops out of bed to quickly grab fresh pajamas and his phone. He almost makes it to the bathroom when he feels a hand tug on his wrist. He nearly drops his pajamas and phone.

“You just said you were tired though and what about your stomach ache?” Yixing questions and Baekhyun finds it difficult to listen over trying to stop himself from throwing up all over Yixing. _ He can’t find out. _

“Yeah, well I feel fine now and want a bath,” Baekhyun retorts and has to take in a deep breath. _ Hold it in. Speaking should help. _ He then continues, “I need to relax, especially after all the walking we did. I feel gross.” _ Hold it in. _

“But you already changed? You’re being weird and—”

“I need a bath,” he rushes out and starts to feel dizzy. _ Don’t give up your secret. _“If you have a problem with that, you can leave.”

“You want me to? You won’t stop pushing me away without any reason, so do you want me to leave?” Yixing asks, eyebrow raised and frustration clear.

_ Fuck. Stop talking. _“I don’t care,” Baekhyun breathes through, stepping backwards into the bathroom and holding the door knob for support.

“Are you—Baekhyun would you just talk to me? I clearly did something to piss you off and I need to know what it is so I can fix it.”

_ Fuck—hold it in Baekhyun. _ “If you decide to still be here when I’m done with my bath, then I’ll think about talking.” Baekhyun then hurriedly slams the door in Yixing’s face and locks it and then carelessly drops his clothes and phone onto the counter. He almost trips on his way to the tub, running the bathwater at whatever temperature just to drown out the sound of him vomiting when he barely makes it to the toilet.

Somehow it’s more painful than the first and second time, Baekhyun’s throat beginning to feel raw despite throwing up only petals—way too many petals—this time. He struggles to catch his breath after he’s done and shakily holds onto the toilet for support as he stands. He swallows hard when he sees a cluster of rose petals still beautifully attached together and floating around. Baekhyun whines, then hiccups as he flushes the toilet and washes his hands. He then checks the bathwater and it’s entirely too hot, but he turns the faucet off and decides to deal with it anyway. Maybe it’ll help alleviate the pain in his chest. He strips out of his clothes and grabs his phone before tossing a long overdue for use bathbomb he got for Christmas into the tub. He sits on the edge of the tub just to have some silence for a few minutes before he breaks completely down.

Next, he calls Jongdae.

“Dae, I need to come over,” Baekhyun says as soon as Jongdae picks up, twirling his finger in the lavender water.

_ “Baekhyun? Why do you sound like you’ve been crying? Why is your voice hoarse? What happened?” _ Jongdae asks, concern filling every word despite his rapid questioning.

“It’s—” Baekhyun pauses to clear his throat to gain some sense of composure. “He’s going—date—on a date—Chan—yeol,” Baekhyun chokes out. _ It shouldn’t be this hard to say he’s dating someone else. _“I can’t—”

_ “Hey, you don’t have to say anything else. I get it,” _ Jongdae shushes gently. _ “Are you at home? I’ll come get you.” _

Baekhyun doesn’t answer right away, choosing to slip into the tub first. He hisses, but bares with the heat and says, “I’m home. In the tub. Just got in,” to keep his words brief and wipes his eyes.

_ “Hm, I’m at the store right now, so I’ll grab snacks and stuff and be over as soon as I can and we can leave when you’re ready. Want me to call Sehun for you?” _

“No,” he sniffles this time, calming a bit down knowing he’ll be around Jongdae soon. Then quietly, he explains, “He’s with Kyungsoo right now and Kyungsoo really likes him. I don’t want to ruin his chance over my stupid Yixing feelings.”

_ “Baekhyun, babe, whatever you’re feeling is valid. He—he’s stupid for not seeing what’s right in front of him and no matter what happens, I’ll always have your back,” _ Jongdae comforts and Baekhyun wishes he could hug him this instant. _ “Sit tight and stay in the bath as long as you can, alright?” _ Baekhyun hums. _ “I’ll try to be there quick. I’ll see you soon.” _

“Thanks,” Baekhyun half-smiles. “I love you.”

_ “Love you too and hang in there!” _ Jongdae cheers before hanging up.

Baekhyun sets his phone on the tub’s ledge and sinks down until his chin hits water. Even with the water burning a bit, it’s a little soothing and puts Baekhyun’s mind at ease for a few minutes until thoughts of Yixing, of Chanyeol, of unrequited love eventually seep in and Baekhyun can’t stop the tears and small sniffles as much as he wants to. Yixing will be happily going on dates while he just waits to die. It feels unfair how he’s loved Yixing for _ years _ and has yet to have his feelings acknowledged even with the biggest of hints given, but he knows he can’t force Yixing to love him back. He wouldn’t want Yixing to pretend to be in love anyway; his friend barely wants to touch him during sex so it shouldn’t be a surprise Yixing actually looked elsewhere for love.

But—but today felt _ so different _ with how much good luck he was having. _ Work. Jongdae and Miseok. _ Then Yixing, _ stupid Yixing, _ was even more cheesy than he normally would be. Every single thing about today _ felt different. _ Baekhyun should have never let the longer kisses and sweet words get to his head and put more meaning behind them. Yixing said he loves him because they’re _ best friends. _ It was stupid to get his hopes up.

Baekhyun whines to himself and tries to keep his thoughts away from Yixing as he bathes. He barely can, but it’s better than nothing, especially when he remembers he and Jongdae never finished watching _ Versailles _ and could marathon that. At least it’s something to possibly look forward to.

When Baekhyun finishes up with his bath, he dresses himself slowly, brushes his teeth slowly, and even walks out to the living room to unfortunately face the back of Yixing’s head as his friend sits on the couch. He hates that Jongdae texted him just a few minutes ago saying he’d be here in twenty. He just prays he doesn’t feel like throwing up until then.

“You’re still here,” Baekhyun grumbles yet still loud enough for Yixing to hear.

Yixing immediately turns around, frown upon his lips. “Baekhyun, I—of course I’m here. I said I wanted to talk.” Yixing then gets up and rushes right over to Baekhyun, taking both of Baekhyun’s hands into his own. Baekhyun gulps and wants to jerk away, but he stays grounded. The sooner he listens to Yixing, the sooner he can tell him to leave. “I—um needed to—well first I wanted to give you something,” he stutters as he drags Baekhyun over to the couch and sits them down, piquing Baekhyun’s interest. Yixing reaches for something on the ground and Baekhyun notices it’s the boxed Code Geass figurine Yixing bought earlier. “I got you this,” Yixing says as tries to hand the box over, but Baekhyun doesn’t take it. “It was one gift meant for your birthday as a kind of surprise, but you’re mad and I don’t know how else to ease—”

“Don’t want it,” Baekhyun cuts him off with, words sharp as he pushes the box back gently towards Yixing. “Don’t try to use gifts when I’m—when you think I’m upset with you.” He bets the toy wasn’t even for him in the first place.

“I _ know _ you’re upset, with me specifically Baekhyun,” Yixing states, a bit irritated at that. He’s right, but Baekhyun can’t let him know that when it’ll lead to a rejected confession. Baekhyun opens his mouth, but Yixing quickly continues, “And I know you won’t tell me what’s wrong, at least not now, but I’m trying to make you happy again like you were earlier.” Yixing sets the box onto the coffee table and links Baekhyun’s fingers with his own. Baekhyun holds his breath as Yixing pulls him into his lap so his legs naturally come to wrap around Yixing’s waist. “So just—_please _ let me do _ something _ to cheer you up a bit.”

Yixing lets go of one of Baekhyun’s hands to smooth down Baekhyun’s chest before he’s reaching around and the tips of his fingers slip pass the waistband of Baekhyun’s pajama bottoms.

_ No. _“We shouldn’t do—” Baekhyun barely gets out when Yixing presses their lips together, more careful than expected. Everything about it feels wrong when he knows Yixing will never love him. It’s bad enough that he has Hanahaki to deal with; continuing to have sex with Yixing would only add to his misery now that he knows everything is final. It’s unbelievable, really—a little infuriating—that sex of all things would be on Yixing’s mind in an attempt to make him “happy.” There’s no use in hoping and praying and wishing Yixing will want him back, even just a little through sex. It was always pointless. So Baekhyun squeezes Yixing’s hand as he breaks the kiss. “I—I don’t want to,” he quietly gets out.

“You don’t?” Yixing questions with a raise of his brow and gropes Baekhyun’s ass.

“I’m not joking, Yixing,” Baekhyun says with a cough, though more firm this time and removes himself completely from Yixing to sit across from his friend instead. “Earlier today, that was our last time.”

“Why?” Yixing asks near instantly.

It catches Baekhyun off guard, how stunned Yixing seems to be, but it shouldn’t come as a surprise. He’s going on a fucking date with—“Chanyeol,” he answers simply.

“Chanyeol? Because of our date?” Baekhyun nods his head and his stomach drops from the word _ ‘date’ _ even being mentioned aloud. He can feel his eyes water and tilts his head back for a second to stop the tears from falling. “You don’t even know if it’ll turn out horrible. We don’t have to end things now.”

“You always get what you want,” he mumbles then more clearly states, “We’re ending this today.”

“Baekhyun,” Yixing whines, “but I like you fucking me. What if—”

“I don’t want to, not after today.” _ Not unless you love me. _ “Besides, you don’t—this was fun, but you shouldn’t be sulking over this ending. You have a—you and—there’s Chanyeol.”

“Yeah, but—I don’t know,” Yixing groans, frustratedly and ruffles his own hair. “Are you really sure about this?” he asks as he scoots forward, closer to Baekhyun. “Can’t we just wait and see what happens first?”

Baekhyun shakes his head, not understanding why Yixing seems so desperate to not let this go. He has_ Chanyeol. _ It _ almost _ gives Baekhyun false hope that Yixing could love him back, but he wouldn’t be going out with Chanyeol if that were true. Yixing wouldn’t put so much distance between them during sex and would be jumping at the chance to touch him. Yixing wouldn’t have to reiterate over and over they’re just _ best friends. _ So Baekhyun knows it’s silly to think Yixing likes him, let alone loves him back after everything that’s happened. Suddenly, Baekhyun has the urge to puke again. _ Fuck. _

“No, we can’t,” Baekhyun manages to get out as he stands when he feels his phone buzzing in his pocket. “Maybe I can find someone who wants to have sex with me instead of forcing themself to do it,” he adds bitterly, _ tries to joke _ as he’s supressing a cough. “I need the bathroom.”

“Baekhyun you—” Yixing stops himself short when there’s a loud knock at the door. _ Must be Jongdae. _ “Who’s that? You weren’t expecting anyone, were you?”

Baekhyun ignores Yixing in favor of dashing off to the bathroom. He’ll just have to let Jongdae lie about why he’s over. After far too many minutes go by of Baekhyun spilling his guts out and rubbing at his chest to soothe it a bit, he brushes his teeth and heads back to the living room. Thank the heavens that Jongdae _ is _ there to greet him with a small wave as he stands in the entryway.

“Jongdae!” Baekhyun smiles as he walks toward his friend, right pass Yixing and averting his eyes. “Finally,” he sighs, wrapping his arms around Jongdae so he can cling to him. Baekhyun closes his eyes and sways them back and forth.

“Baekhyun,” Jongdae sings, “Go get anything you need so we can leave.” Baekhyun hums, but doesn’t let go, relishing in how comforting and safe Jongdae is.

“Leave? Neither of you mentioned leaving,” Yixing says, surprise filling every word. Baekhyun cracks open an eye to see a hurt Yixing, but Baekhyun can’t be bothered to care right now. Not when he needs to get away from Yixing as quickly as possible. “Baekhyun, what’s going on? I thought it was just us two today.”

“I’m leaving. With Jongdae,” Baekhyun gives as a half-assed answer. “We can hang out again some other time.” He lets go of Jongdae to go to his room for his wallet and laptop bag, but is stopped by Yixing tugging back on his wrist.

“Just—stop running from me Baekhyun,” Yixing begs as he turns Baekhyun back towards him. Baekhyun flattens his lips together and hates how much Yixing’s touch burns. He glances in Jongdae’s direction, eyes pleading for help. He can’t explain how he’s in love and hurt all over again by Yixing dating someone that’s not him.

Jongdae nods and puts himself right between the pair and grabs each of their wrists, pulling them gently apart. “If he’s running away from you Yixing, then let him,” Jongdae sighs, earning a glare from Yixing. “He called me for good reason so we’re leaving. Without you of course. When Baekhyun’s ready to explain, let him, but for now he needs space.”

“I don’t understand why. We were _ good _ all day until Tempo,” Yixing nearly snaps. “Why can’t you just tell me—I thought you could trust me.”

Baekhyun gulps and slips his hand into Jongdae’s. In normal circumstances, he’d tell Yixing the whole world, but these are his own feelings he has to reveal. He’s been put through enough for one day. “We’re leaving,” Baekhyun says quietly, not daring to look at Yixing, and drags Jongdae towards his room. As soon as he hears Jongdae shuts the door, Baekhyun breathes deep in relief. “You think if you asked him to leave, he would?”

Jongdae tsks before shaking his head and answering, “With you here, not likely.” Jongdae then goes into Baekhyun’s dresser to dig out a pair of socks. “Hurry and put these on,” he says he tosses the socks to Baekhyun who doesn’t catch them. “What do you want me to grab?”

Baekhyun silently puts on his socks before answering, “Nothing. I just needed my wallet and laptop bag,” and holds up said items. “My computer is on the coffee table.”

“Okay. Stay put and I’ll see if he’s left yet.”

The next long minutes are spent with Baekhyun lying down on his bed, a sudden wave of exhaustion taking over. All he wants now is for Jongdae to make him hot peppermint tea as he cries out all his frustrations about Yixing until he falls asleep. He thinks he hears raised voices in his wait, but ignores his curiosity in favor of shutting his eyes a bit more. When Jongdae returns, Baekhyun sees his laptop in hand.

“He’s gone?” Baekhyun asks as he takes his laptop to place into its bag.

“Yeah,” Jongdae says. “Took a bit of convincing, but he’s gone. But how are you holding up? I know it must be rough with finding out he’s going on a date.”

Baekhyun hums, but does nothing more as he leads Jongdae to the entryway. He wonders if it would be a good idea to tell Jongdae that his Hanahaki just got worse, but that’ll lead to Jongdae talking about getting _ the surgery. _ His ears don’t need to hear a lecture right now. “I threw up right after I found out, in Tempo actually, but it was the same as usual,” he lies instead. _ It’s better this way. _ “Just petals still. It hurts to think about though.”

“Ah, everyone’s different,” Jongdae half-smiles as he helps Baekhyun with his coat. “When Minseok rejected me, I immediately started throwing up roots and leaves. But let’s not think about love for the rest of the night! Unless you want to scream or shout or whatever it all out. Anything goes tonight.”

“I might be crying the whole night then,” Baekhyun says rather lightheartedly.

“Remember anything goes tonight,” Jongdae chuckles. “Let’s get going before he decides it’s a fantastic idea to come back.” Baekhyun quickly put on his shoes, as does Jongdae, and they head out.

And true to his word, Jongdae does let Baekhyun scream and cry and rant about Yixing and his unrequited love that’s lasted _ years _ for _ hours on end. _ Jongdae makes him hot cocoa and tea to help calm his nerves as he tries to finish up work late at night. Jongdae does _ everything _ in his power to keep Baekhyun’s mind off of Yixing as they stay up and watch episode after episode of _ Versailles _ until morning with commentary or small jokes almost on every scene.

It’s a little cathartic, even with Yixing texting him so much that Jongdae has to turn Baekhyun’s phone off when he’s tempted to reply, _ ‘fuck off.’ _ Baekhyun’s sure that would have been more helpful for his own sake, but pissing Yixing off on top of him already being frustrated and upset would do them no good.

The best option is to ignore—ignore Yixing until his final days where he can’t hide Hanahaki anymore—Baekhyun decides as he begins to doze off.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Expectantly, Baekhyun doesn’t see Yixing for the next few weeks. Ignoring Yixing’s phone calls and texts asking where he’s been or can he stop by and why’d he change his door code _ might _ have something to do with that, but he’s sure Chanyeol would be taking up most of his time anyway. And it isn’t like Baekhyun’s hasn’t been busy himself with researching what story to cover and do photos for next and taking Mongryong for walks and hanging out with every other friend aside from Yixing and going to the doctor to see how long he can prolong his life without getting the surgery. Just a little beyond his birthday apparently, _ if _he decides to take medication and it works properly.

Anyway, the throwing up and coughing has become a bit hard to control these days and it hurts to talk.

So really, avoiding Yixing is the best option he has at this point despite all his friends calling him stupid; even Sehun’s _ not-_boyfriend Kyungsoo had agreed with them. Then again, none of his friends including Jongdae know just how bad the Hanahaki has become over the last few weeks. _ Full flowers, strems, roots, thorns. Blood. _ It’s asking a lot for them to wrap their heads around the fact he’s willingly dying. They just need to be aware of the day he dies and nothing more. They’ll make it through, somehow, but for now, Baekhyun just wants _ peace _ as he tries to get through life day by day.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Baekhyun lies on his couch, trying to stay awake to get through another episode of _ Versailles _ for the nth time. It’s only a little after six in the evening but having a cold has him worn out on top of his already declining health. It doesn’t help that he just spent an entire week running all over London and Paris at the last minute because _ both _ of the company’s main international photographers got sick. Baekhyun finds it suspicious there was no one else available; he thinks they’re trying to ease him into global gigs as a potential permanent hire despite being contracted for domestic photojournalism. Though there’s really no point in entertaining taking his career international when he won’t make it to the end of the year. He should have a little less ambitious in using work as a distraction.

Oh well. _ At least I got to go overseas before I die, _ Baekhyun thinks as he stretches his foot to poke Mongryong on his leg with his big toe and get his attention. Maybe pestering his dog will keep him up for a bit longer. The pup looks back for a long second before returning his attention back to chewing on the bone in front of him.

“Mongryong,” Baekhyun sings, “pay attention to me.” He taps Mongryong with his toes this time and Mongryong does nothing. “Hey, come here,” he coughs through, _ harshly, _ this time. That gets the corgi’s attention and he turns around, staring at his owner and then whining. “I’m okay,” he says as wipes at his mouth with his pajama sleeve, staining the end red. Mongryong leaves his bone behind and jumps into Baekhyun’s lap before he’s licking all over his face with a whiny growl. “Sshh, I’m okay,” Baekhyun coos as he rubs at Mongryong’s head and back. “I even have hot tea.” He glances over to the coffee table and sees an empty mug. “I’ll make more hot tea. You don’t have to lick me every time I have a coughing fit.” Baekhyun giggles when the pup starts to calm down and wiggle around in his lap. “Daddy will be okay for now.”

Baekhyun then gets up, gently setting Mongryong onto the floor before he’s whistling for him to follow him into the kitchen. Mongryong happily trails behind a sluggish Baekhyun until they’re in the kitchen. He washes his hands and fills the electric kettle with water, deciding he’ll make green tea with a bit of honey like his last cup. As he waits for the water to heat, Baekhyun tosses treats to Mongryong.

“Ah, these are your favorite,” Baekhyun sighs as he sets a sweet potato flavored mini biscuit onto the floor and motions for Mongryong to sit.

_ Who should I leave you with? Who’s going to take care of you the best? _Sehun already has Vivi and with his schedule, he doesn’t know if Sehun could handle two dogs. Then there’s Kyungsoo who has two dogs, but maybe three would be too much; plus Mongryong has only met him a handful of times. Or maybe his parents, or brother even? They don’t have ridiculous schedules either and Mongryong is happy to see them when they visit and cries when they have to leave. Then there’s Yixing who always claimed he was Mongyrong’s second father. That just makes Baekhyun feel bitter and cough his guts into the kitchen sink. He’ll wash everything out later when he does the dishes tomorrow morning.

Baekhyun groans and forgets about picking someone to take care of Mongryong after he’s gone and goes over to grab a packet of green tea. Just as he’s about to reach into the cabinet, there’s a knock at his door. He would ignore it, but Sehun and Kyungsoo said they were stopping by eventually with soup and it’s getting kind of late for when they’d usually meet up for dinner. He goes to his door without much thought and opens it only to be greeted by the _ one _ person he had hoped to avoid until his final days.

_ Fucking fuck. It’s Yixing. _ It’s bad enough that the mere thought of the man can have Baekhyun running to the nearest bin, but with Yixing here in person—Baekhyun’s legs begin to tremble and it’s getting hard to breathe. Baekhyun tries his best to clear his head as a sudden lightness begins to take over.

“I—I didn’t mean to answer,” is the first thing that slips out of Baekhyun’s mouth, causing Yixing to frown. “You need to leave,” he rasps as he weakly tries to push Yixing back. He doesn’t budge. “I’m sick.”

Yixing rolls his eyes, stepping into the apartment anyway and shutting the door behind him. Baekhyun leans against the nearest wall for support. “Sehun told me you were sick so I brought soup,” Yixing says as he holds up a brown paper bag. “It’s my grandpa’s recipe, you know the one with—are you okay?”

Baekhyun shakes his head and groans, shutting his eyes and praying Yixing will leave. He knows Yixing stays when he feels himself being scooped up and carried off to what he thinks is his bedroom. Why couldn’t he be left alone, sick and dying, in peace? Baekhyun is then set gently onto his bed so he’s sitting up; Yixing plops down right beside him. There’s still that sense of dizziness swirling around in his head, so Baekhyun opts to lie down on his side, Yixing doing the same so he faces Baekhyun.

And Baekhyun wants to be angry and yell at Yixing and tell him to get out for not loving him or for some other ridiculous reason, but there’s a severe lack of energy and he can’t really be angry at Yixing for trying to take care of him, no matter how much it physically hurts to be around him. But more than that, Baekhyun’s _ missed _ Yixing.

_ My god, _ he’s missed Yixing’s warm hugs and stupid jokes and them taking Mongryong for walks and calling Yixing when he’s had a rough day. He’s missed having Yixing by his side and hates himself for letting his emotions get the best of him. But at this point, how could he ever tell Yixing he loves him when from his small update texts, Yixing seems so _ happy _ with someone that’s not him and he’s dying because of it.

“Why are you here?” Baekhyun asks, voice nearly a whisper as he pokes Yixing’s cheek where his dimple would show.

“I want to fix us. You’ve been ignoring me,” Yixing answers back, quietly, and slips his hand into Baekhyun’s own. _ Ah, too weak to snatch my hand back, _ he lies to himself. “I also brought you soup so you can feel better.”

“There’s nothing to fix. We’re good,” he sighs and quickly holds his breath, suppressing a cough he knows contains petals and blood. “And I feel _ great. _ Absolutely fantastic.”

“You look and sound like shit, Baekhyun,” Yixing points out and Baekhyun flattens his lips together. “And we’re not good. Haven’t been since you ditched me for Jongdae that day and won’t tell me why.” Baekhyun shrugs and remains silent, prompting Yixing to scoot in close and unlink their hand to cup Baekhyun’s cheek. Yixing softly runs his thumb along his cheek as he says, “Usually I’m good at figuring you out, but it’s really frustrating that I can’t this time. Why did you push me away all of a sudden?”

“I don’t want to say,” he mumbles, averting his gaze from Yixing’s.

“Do you think I’ll get angry with you or something?” Yixing asks, carefully. 

“No, but you’ll—” _ I don’t want to hear you reject me. _ “It’s not worth saying. Just let me sort this out on my own.”

“Whatever it is, it’s keeping you away from me. I don’t like it,” he pouts. “I don’t like that you won’t let me help you when it obviously involves something I did.”

Baekhyun gives a weak grin. “I’m sleepy,” he yawns and cuddles up to Yixing.

“You need to eat before using me as a pillow,” Yixing chuckles right before kissing Baekhyun on the top of his head and sitting up. Baekhyun can’t help but love how at ease Yixing makes and knows he won’t pressure him to speak on the issue any further for today. “I’ll bring you your soup. Sit in bed properly and I’ll be right back.”

Baekhyun nods, clutching onto his bed. As soon as Yixing leaves, he dashes for the waste bin. _ Thorns and roots, huh? _ Baekhyun notices when he’s done. He’ll need to drink tea all night and maybe down an extra pill for the extra pain his throat seems to be in now. Longer than expected passes—twelve minutes to be exact. Yixing should have been back considering he thinks he saw steam coming from the bag Yixing brought and Yixing never gives him leftovers of his grandpa’s soup; it’s always made fresh. _ Yixing made tea too? _ But Baekhyun just warmed up some water so that shouldn’t be an issue either.

It’s unnerving to say the least so Baekhyun gets up to drag himself to the kitchen where Yixing should be. Thankfully, he does find Yixing sitting on the kitchen floor, Mongryong in his lap. He glances around to see there aren’t any bowls taken out—the soup still looks like it’s in the brown paper bag it came in. His tea mug is still empty and the kettle is still full.

_ What’s going on? _

“Um, Yixing, I thought you were bringing me soup?” Baekhyun questions as he sits at the kitchen table as Yixing stands. “Did you accidentally spill it or something?”

“Baekhyun, did you throw up earlier in the sink?” Yixing asks, eerily calm, as he glances up to stare at Baekhyun directly. Baekhyun swears his heart stops and his stomach drops. He stands motionless. “Why are there petals? And stems and thorns?”

“I, um, got some flowers from—uh, someone I don’t like—and—and wanted to shred them in the disposale?” he stutters his way through.

“Why are they mixed so well with food then? Why does it look like it all came up together, Baekhyun?” Yixing asks, tone more demanding this time. Baekhyun chooses to stay quiet, but it’s not like it matters when Yixing continues speaking. “It reminds me of Jongdae when Minseok rejected him.” Baekhyun watches Yixing begin to clean out the sink, too scared to even move. _ He knows. _ “Is it happening to you too Baekhyun? Is that why you’ve been acting weird lately? Did it start at Tempo?”

Baekhyun swallows hard and can’t even properly think of what he should do or say. He could try to continue to lie and say it’s all a misunderstanding or blame it on an imaginary friend until he can come up with a better excuse. He could tell the truth, but that would lead to an even more broken heart.

But how much worse can it get at this point?

Yixing being aware of him having Hanahaki won’t change a single thing.

Yixing would just be even more upset than he already is at him if he chose to lie.

Yixing’s never going to love him and his days here are already dwindling down so might as well put everything out in the open.

“I—it’s the same as Jongdae,” Baekhyun gets out, voice shaking with each word. “It’s been a few months since it started.”

There’s a sharp gasp and the sound of a dish hitting the bottom of the sink. Baekhyun hopes it isn’t chipped. Yixing then turns around and asks, “You’re really throwing up flowers?” still clearly stunned as he comes to move a chair and sit directly in front of Baekhyun. “But why—who’s making you like this?” Baekhyun bites down on his lip and clutches his pajama pants, nails digging through to the skin. “It’s okay Baekhyun,” he says and intertwines their fingers before he’s rambling, “I’ll help you through this and we can go to doctors and I should make an appointment for you in the morning since I think I saw blood and thorns can’t be any good either and—”

“It’s you,” Baekhyun whispers when he interrupts Yixing.

“Wh—what? What do you mean me?” Yixing stumbles over as his face goes pale and he squeezes one of Baekhyun’s hands _ hard. _

“It’s you,” Baekhyun repeats, a lot more audible this time, and he feels Yixing’s hands begin to shake. “It’s because of you why I—” Baekhyun pauses and takes a deep breath and he _ finally _ admits, “Yixing, I—I love you and—I’m—in love with you to be more exact.” Then words just start spilling out as he tries to explain, “I tried to deny it for the longest, but I love you and have been since high school probably. I didn’t realize anything until you dated Junmyeon and how _ angry _ and _ hurt _ it made me—to see you with someone else. I was going to confess after I for sure knew you were over Junmyeon, but then came Chanyeol and I started coughing and throwing up petals.” Baekhyun tries not to wince, or cry even, and ignores the pain in his chest when Yixing snatches his hands away to clasp his own hands together in his lap, hunching over.

“But you said you liked someone else,” Yixing reminds. “It’s why we—our whole—”

“It was a lie,” Baekhyun admits when he cuts him off. “It was a lie and I knew you’d never lo—I just wanted to know what it felt like, even if it didn’t last, so I lied so you’d agree. It’s why hearing you actually asked Chanyeol out, that you were going on a date—I couldn’t handle it and was avoiding you until now.”

_“God, I’m so—” _Yixing stops himself from speaking any further, but the frustration is clear when he stands abruptly and paces back and forth through the kitchen. Watching Yixing is anxiety inducing and Baekhyun wraps his arms around himself to give himself some sort of comfort. He knows Yixing is overthinking and Baekhyun is fully aware that him practically using his best friend for his own benefit must have some sort of effect on Yixing and he needs more time to asorb being the cause of his Hanhaki, but—but it’s pure _torture_ to sit and wait for the inevitable. He wishes Yixing would hurry and reject him and say he’s sorry he can’t love him back.

“Yixing,” Baekhyun gets out, softly, earning Yixing’s attention. “Can you—can we—I know you don’t—”

“I need to leave,” Yixing interrupts and runs, not glancing once in Baekhyun’s direction.

_ Leave? What? _

Baekhyun immediately gets up to chase after Yixing, throat throbbing and stomach churning. _ Why is he— _ “What do you mean leave?” Baekhyun is able to get out, breathless, catching Yixing’s wrist right before he’s out the door. “You can’t—” Baekhyun has to take a moment to cough, heaving up a few petals, but not letting his grip loosen one bit. Yixing looks downright _ terrified. _ “Say you—say you need time to think or reject me. Don’t leave me—don’t leave me with nothing.”

Yixing shakes his head and then his hand free from Baekhyun’s grasp. “You’re my—I—I can’t do this. You’re my best friend and—I need to go,” Yixing fumbles over his words.

_ “Yixing, don’t,” _ Baekhyun pleads as he tries to catch Yixing by the shirt, but fails. _ “Yixing!” _ he calls when Yixing speeds down the hall without him. “Just—” Baekhyun can barely get a word out when he begins coughing, _ choking, _and runs back inside his apartment, forgetting to shut the door behind him. He runs to where the nearest trash bin is and unfortunately, it ends up being the kitchen floor.

It’s always the same—petals, thorns, roots, blood.

It’s _ always _ the same since he found out about that stupid date and it makes Baekhyun sick.

Baekhyun’s so sick of throwing up _ everything _ for someone who will never love him back. He’s so sick of crying until his head aches for someone who couldn’t even give him closure with a rejection. He’s so fucking sick of _ hurting. _ Everything hurts and all he can do is sit and wait to die. And he would get lost in his own thoughts of self pity and misery, but Mongryong barking and licking his face snaps him out of it for now. He scoops Mongryong into his arms and plants tiny kisses over his face.

“I’ll be okay,” Baekhyun coos and glances down at his shirt when he notices a wet feeling against his skin. He pulls Mongyrong back a bit and sees smudged vomit on his shirt and tiny paw prints in the mess he made on the floor. He chuckles with a slight cough, “Someone needs a bath!” Mongryong’s eyes seem impossibly wide as he tilts his head. “Bath time!” he announces, sniffle included, all too loudly as he stands, legs wobbling the entire way up. Mongryong whines and tries to pry himself free, but Baekhyun can’t let him escape and dash off to the bathroom unless he wants more of a mess to clean up.

Baekhyun drags himself and Mongryong to the bathroom where he runs the tub water until he deems it enough for Mongryong to play in. He leaves the pup splashing around in the tub so he can go clean the kitchen floor. It doesn’t take but a minute for his thoughts to wander back to Yixing as he grabs cleaning supplies.

Yixing who seemed angry.

Yixing who seemed confused.

Yixing who didn’t yell or say _ ‘I’m sorry.’ _

Yixing who didn’t do anything but question him for understanding, but it’s all the confirmation he needs to know Yixing is someone who will never love him. Yixing probably feels guilty that he got Hanahaki and just needs to build the courage to outright reject him.

Baekhyun hopes he’s around by the time Yixing chooses to speak to him again. _ He’ll talk to me in a few days. _ Baekhyun has confidence it’ll happen soon. It has to or he’ll never get closure like he wants. In the meantime, Baekhyun throws up for the nth time—in the kitchen sink—and sets a reminder on his phone to call his doctor in the morning.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Remember to not give him too many biscuits, no matter how cute he looks,” Baekhyun states, attempting to be firm with his mother. He knows she can go overboard with giving Mongryong treats. He then rubs his throat, trying to sooth it as much as possible.

“I’ll do my best, but an extra one or two won’t hurt,” his mother smiles and quickly adds, “But you should be more concerned with your father here,” pointing to her husband.

Baekhyun lets out a long sigh when he sees his dad sitting in the grass with Mongryong, hand _ full _ of sweet potato biscuits. “Dad, he shouldn’t be eating that many,” Baekhyun nags and plops on the ground right next to his dad to lean on his shoulder. _ God, _he could really fall asleep right now. He’s been standing far too long from watching Mongryong and his parents run around the yard and is starting to get dizzy anyway.

His dad ruffles his hair and says, “Don’t worry. We’ll take good care of Mongryong until you’re back.” Baekhyun’s heart clenches. “Two weeks, right?” Baekhyun hums. “Alright. You better get going before you end up dozing off right here and it’s too late to drive.”

“Don’t worry,” Baekhyun smiles. “Not like I’m driving across the country. It’s just a few hours to the old house.”

“Speaking of the old house, have you spoken to Yixing lately?” his mother asks. “His mom called last night and said he didn’t seem like his normal self. She seemed really worried.”

“Nope,” Baekhyun answers instantly as he stands and dusts off his pants for any lingering grass. “Though we did get into a bit of a disagreement about his boyfriend. I’m not speaking to him until I get back so don’t let him know where I’m at.” It’s a bit of an exaggeration of the truth—a lie really—but Chanyeol kind of is the reason he and Yixing aren’t on speaking terms at the moment.

“Baekhyun, you’re too old to act like that,” his dad scolds.

“Honey, they’re both adults and can work out their own problems,” his mother is quick to state and sits by her husband. She begins petting Mongryong who basks in the attention. “But make up with him soon, okay! That’s my future son-in-law you’re mad at.”

“Mom,” Baekhyun drags out with a whine. “He has a boyfriend.”

“For now,” his dad adds, grinning as he gives Mongryong a biscuit. “As soon as they break up, you need to confess. And then we can work on you two getting married and then finding the best possible way for us to have grandchildren.”

_ If you only knew. _ “Sure, sure,” Baekhyun brushes them off with. “Hugs?” Both his parents stand, his dad lifting Mongryong with them, and pull Baekhyun into a bone crushing hug. “Mongryong is with us, don’t hurt him,” he says gently. They ease up a little and Baekhyun gives a once over, seeing that his little nub of a tail is happily going back and forth. “Alright, I better get going. I love you. And you too buddy,” he says and kisses Mongryong’s head. I’ll see you in two weeks!”

“Love you,” his dad says.

“Love you Baekhyun,” his mom echoes right after. “And remember to eat lots. You’ve lost a lot of weight and I won’t be there to feed you. You barely gained any while here.”

“I will,” Baekhyun says and waves to his parents one last time before hopping into his car and driving off. When he’s out of sight from his parents’ house, he breathes a deep sigh of relief and pulls over to the side of the road. He grabs a brown paper bag from a pile of them sitting in the passenger seat, quickly opening the bag and puking into it, into a few more bags for a good five minutes. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and rolls the end of each bag before setting them on the passenger side floor and driving off. He should be good for another few hours before he has to throw up again.

Funny how he’s coughing and puking less when he stops taking the medication for his Hanahaki. _ Doctors are a scam, _ Baekhyun thinks over briefly and continues his drive.

  
  
  


_ If you stop taking them now, you’ll have a month at best and a week at worst in your condition. We still have time to consult with a surgeon and— _

_ Hurry and give me the papers to sign. I already told you I only want to love one person. _

_ Fine. Let me warn you that you’ll to vomit and cough much more than you have been, maybe a few times per hour as past cases have— _

  
  
  


Baekhyun had stopped taking his meds a day before he came to visit his parents and that was a week ago. What changed is how _ intense _ and long each session seems to last now. His mom thought he was dying when he had locked himself in the bathroom and wouldn’t come out for several minutes. The banging on the door from both his parents only made his head hurt, but after he had reassured them he was fine and there was no need to worry—_remember I got overworked and am still sick. _ They left it at that and Baekhyun’s mom made vegetable soup for dinner that night and Baekhyun made sure to always have loud noises around at home or he was alone in town whenever he felt the urge to cough and throw up. Then there was the added hassle of having to force himself to talk and lie multiple times a day that he was _ fine _ whenever either of his parents mentioned him being quieter than usual.

_ But, _ Baekhyun got to spend some of his final days with his parents and reminisce on his favorite memories with them and had hot, throat soothing meals every day. Plus Mongryong is in good hands now; he couldn’t ask for more. Then there’s his brother who he had lunch with and they caught up on each other’s lives before Baekhyun came down to see their parents. It was very nice and it wasn’t the most proper of goodbyes—for either his brother or parents—but it’s better than nothing and not seeing family secretly off in his own way at all.

The only thing he can’t do in these circumstances is give his friends a proper farewell considering they would spend every single second of their day trying to convince him to get the surgery instead of enjoying what little time they have left together, especially if they knew he’d confessed to Yixing and got rejected already. He’d be miserable. So the only choice he has, really, is to pretend he’s on a much needed surprise vacation to recuperate, not die.

What’s even more unfortunate than not being able to be surrounded by friends at least once more is having one specific friend—_ his best friend— _ on non-speaking terms with him. Though given the circumstances, it really isn’t all that shocking. Baekhyun was the one who ridiculously pushed Yixing away first and avoided him until Yixing forced his way back into his life. Baekhyun was the one who dropped such a huge confession onto Yixing when he could have, _ should have _ continued to pretend everything was okay. But he let his stupid feelings get the best of him; he was lucky enough to see Yixing for that short amount of time anyway. And it kind of stings a lot to not have Yixing speaking to him, but he deserves being ignored despite death being around the corner. It was the original plan to ignore Yixing’s existence until the very end, Baekhyun bitterly reminds himself.

Everything is back on track. 

Baekhyun tosses the thought of Yixing from his mind for now to focus on the road. It takes a few hours of non-stop driving for Baekhyun to reach his childhood home. It’s the same old brick foundation he remembers with a few cracks here and there from age, but his parents have done a good job of upkeeping and making sure the house doesn’t fall to pieces. They have or else they wouldn’t be able to rent it out as an Airbnb every other month. Thankfully, fate was in his favor and his mini vacation coincided with their off month.

The first thing Baekhyun notices is the wooden shoe rack that wasn’t there before as he enters the house and into the small entryway. One of the guests must have broken the cheap plastic one that was there before. He slips off his shoes and the floors creak with each step as Baekhyun walks further into the house, duffle bag in hand, and guesses the floors will be the next thing his parents fix. His head turns from side to side to see the walls of the living room are a pale pink—the same from when he was little, but with a fresher coat. He remembers the animals he doodled all over the walls and how he cried when his parents painted over them and his brother laughed. As he passes the kitchen, it’s much different from what he grew up with; the gas top stove has been replaced with an electric one, the cabinets are no longer an ugly orange that clashes with everything else, and their wooden table has been replaced with a glass one just to name a few things. He doesn’t bother checking the rest of downstairs, knowing that the other room have their changes too.

Instead, Baekhyun drags himself upstairs, duffle bag bumping against each step with a loud thud. Just beyond his parents old bedroom and an office slash guest room lies a room bolted shut with three different specialized locks, the only room guests aren’t allowed. He takes his keys from his pocket and unlocks all three. His old room smells a bit stale, but an open window and scented candle will fix that. He gives a once over of the simple design his room has always been—white walls, small desk, large dresser, and a twin sized bed right by the window. He stares at the single photo of him and Yixing on the nightstand of them back in high school and ignores the way his heart clenches and how fucking _ sad and pathetic _ he has become over one person.

Baekhyun leaves his bag in the doorway and strips himself completely of his clothing before heading to his dresser and pulling out an oversized red shirt to change into. He then flops onto his bed and smothers himself in countless blankets despite the room being a bit warm due to outside temperature alone. He won’t make it see summer or even his birthday, but he’s oddly comforted by being home. Maybe that’s why he picked here of all places to die. He has fond attachments to the sidewalk where he broke his arm and the yard he used to play hide-and-seek in. He has _ amazing _ memories to look back on with old friends, with his parents. _ With Yixing. _

Baekhyun sighs to himself, thinking he should steer clear of any thoughts of Yixing unless he wants to be sad. _ Be happy on your last days. _He frowns when his stomach growls, effectively distracting him from Yixing. He could cook a small dinner, but he already ate breakfast and threw that up which would mean doing the same for dinner. Then there’s the added fact that he’d actually have to go out and buy groceries and he could barely get around the store without leaning on his mom the one time he went with her. Baekhyun’s frown deepens. Well, he could order out, but that requires talking and he’s had enough of that for the past week.

_ Gas stations exists, _Baekhyun thinks as he buries himself further into his blankets. That’s just a quick in and out trip with minimal talking. When he gets up, he’ll go to a gas station and buy chips or something.

For now, Baekhyun closes his eyes and dreams of Yixing.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Baekhyun wipes at his mouth and pushes the trash can away from himself and back into the corner of his room with his feet. _ Fifth time in two hours. _ Baekhyun groans and wonders if it would be worth the trouble to try and eat again or just sip on tea like he had yesterday and the day before. And the few days before that. It seemed to make him vomit and cough up less petals, but he’s so fucking _ hungry _ and _ really _ wants to hold _ anything _ down. Now on top of barely being able to walk for more than a minute without feeling tired from his Hanahaki, he has to hear his stomach growl constantly along with a never ending migraine.

Jongdae was right about feeling outright miserable.

There’s nothing he can do now other than get an emergency surgery and that’s definitely out of the question. He won’t guilt himself into getting rid of his feelings for Yixing when he’s come this far. Baekhyun plops down onto his bed and stares up at the ceiling, wondering what he could do to pass the time while he’s still here since eating—at least for now—seems impossible. He’ll be missing the ending to a lot of his favorite shows and could search for fan theories for a satisfying conclusion. Too much concentration involved. He could binge a completed, random show. Also requiring too much concentration. He’s ignored Jongdae’s and Sehun’s texts and calls for the last few days, the last of the sounding concerned for his well-being, and could reach out to pretend he’s fine; they’d more than likely want to speak to him. Too much talking would be involved. Baekhyun’s throat feels raw and not even hot tea or cough drops help now. Baekhyun could always nap and then he wouldn’t have to be up and thinking about how much pain his entire body is in. He feels wide awake and has done too much of that for the last week and a half.

Baekhyun whimpers and grabs his phone from the nightstand to see there are zero messages from Yixing, the last being sent the day before he confessed. The coughing hasn’t gotten any better, each time more suffocating than the last. Hell, the next time he has an episode could be the last.

Baekhyun decides to write.

He stumbles over to his desk, phone in hand, and opens the sole draw to pull out an old notebook where the pages have a yellowish tint to them now. He grabs a pen from the pencil holder and thankfully, it works after a quick test on a blank page. He then sits, clicking the pen repeatedly as he thinks hard on what to say; it isn’t everyday that he has to write a goodbye letter. Baekhyun sucks on his teeth and doodles a few random animals until he makes up his mind to write whatever naturally comes out.

  
  
  
  


_ I know we’re not speaking, but I still consider you my best friend. So I thought you should know I went to see a surgeon recently and signed some waivers since I’m choosing not to get the surgery. I guess we both know what that means, but it’s what I want. I haven’t told anyone else yet, said I was going on a much needed mini vacation. I’m just….somewhere else right now so I can go in peace. I think you could tell the day we last saw each other I wasn’t doing so well. He said I have a week at worst and a month at best if I stopped taking the meds to slow the process down a bit. It’s been close to a month now and I don’t feel so good which is why I’m writing this now before it’s too hard to even do that. _

_ And I know you’ll be stupid and blame yourself and feel guilty for not being able to return my feelings, but it’s okay. I’m okay. I mean I’m dying, but I’m okay with it—I have been since it started. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to keep it a secret until the very end so I could have seen you at least one more time, but I know you have your reasons. I left Mongryong with my parents but make sure to visit the pup to cheer him up because he’s going to be sad and he adores you and my parents won’t mind once they stop being angry at you for not returning my feelings. And make sure there are pink flowers at my um….you know. You better be there to at least say goodbye even if I won’t be awake. _

_ Take care _

_ —Baekhyun _

  
  
  
  


Baekhyun sets the pen down and breathes deep. He takes a clear enough photo with his phone and sends it to Yixing, ripping the letter into tiny pieces right after. He waits five, ten, thirty, _ sixty _ minutes for a response and gets nothing. _ That was—why doesn’t he—_Baekhyun doesn’t know how to describe how weird it felt to write a goodbye letter to Yixing or Yixing’s lack of response, but now there’s an overwhelming sense of sadness that he knows he won’t be able to shake for a good while. He’s going to die—he’s going to die with Yixing being upset with him and it _ hurts. _ And he wishes he could say so much more in person and be happy when he goes, but it’s not going to happen and it would be stupid to think otherwise. Baekhyun can already feel his eyes watering, but he _ can’t _ cry. He refuses to cry when he should be at peace. Yixing won’t talk to him? _ Fine. _ Sometimes friends have disagreements and they never get resolved. Some people just don’t get closure.

_ It’s fine. Completely fine. _

The chair screeches against the floor when Baekhyun stands and he then heads straight for the trash can. Barely being able to breathe, puking and coughing up stomach bile and whatever rose parts are taking over his lungs and chest—it would be monotonous at this point if it weren’t for the pain that’s only gotten worse. He’d almost think that _ this is it _, but he’s read enough to know that the “Final Time,” should be filled with nothing but a single full flower that he won’t be able to pull out. No more, no less.

When he’s done, Baekhyun heads back to bed. He takes a sip of the cold tea from his mug and spits it right back into the cup. He whines, though it’s a little painful, and makes a mental note to mentally prepare himself to go to the kitchen in order to make hot tea when he gets up from a nap, exhaustion taking over. He hates how tired having Hanahaki has him these days and slips underneath the covers, easily falling asleep.

  
  
  
  


_ Baekhyun! _

_ Hey, Baekhyun! Byun Baekhyun get up! _

_ Baekhy—Baekhyun, please wake up. I can’t—Baekhyun! _

  
  
  
  


_ Get up? _ Baekhyun feels entirely too comfortable in his own bed. He can feel himself turn and then hear himself groan when he feels something—stray cat? Fallen object from his shelf? A hand? A hand shaking him with a call of his name in the distance. _ Sleep is more important, _ he thinks until it dawns on him that it’s a hand, _ a person’s hand, _ on his shoulder and calling his name. It scares Baekhyun out of his daze and he sits up in a near panic. There shouldn’t be anyone here and yet he’s face to face with— _ Yixing? _

Baekhyun reaches out as his heart calms, softly thumbing over Yixing’s cheek. _ I’m not dreaming? He’s real? _ He scoots closer until the blankets are barely covering him and he’s in Yixing’s lap hugging him tight, not even registering Yixing’s arms looping around him to do the same. _ Did Yixing read my letter? Have I been sleeping that long? Or maybe this really is a dream and I’m dead? _Baekhyun really doesn’t care what’s going on as long as Yixing is with him.

“Yixing? Wha—why are you here?” Baekhyun rasps and this _ has _ to be real because of how much his throat begins to throb from just a few words. _ I’m not going to die alone? _He pulls back to face Yixing. “You’re—”

Baekhyun can’t get the next word or maybe he had a whole string of sentences ready to struggle through, but that doesn’t matter when Yixing, Zhang Yixing, _ his best friend Zhang Yixing _ who is actually here in person and not some hallucination is pressing his lips against his own. Baekhyun instantly pushes at his chest, horrified Yixing would such a thing now of all times. _ Is he pitying me? Did he think he could just show up and fuck me one last time before I die to give himself closure? _ It only makes Baekhyun ball his fists so his nails won’t dig into his thighs. 

“What are you doing?” Baekhyun asks, slowly enunciating each word. “Why would you—it’s cruel when you don’t love me.” He does his best to hold back a sob, but all it does is make him gasp for air and cough up a few wet petals onto the closet pillow.

Yixing hurriedly grabs tissue from the nightstand and wipes at Baekhyun’s mouth as he rushes out, “Baekhyun, I do love you” and then takes both of Baekhyun’s hands into his own to continue “I love you and I’m sorry it took so long for me to realize that. I love you Byun Baekhyun.”

_ No— _ Baekhyun refuses to believe Yixing actually loves him. Not when he’s been dating Chanyeol all this time and has _ never _ shown any interest in him romantically. “I don’t believe you,” Baekhyun coughs; Yixing’s eyes widen in disbelief. When Yixing opens his mouth to speak, Baekhyun quickly covers it with his hand and shakes his head. “I don’t believe you,” he tries to state as firmly, as loudly as possible. Then in a whisper he continues, “You didn’t talk to me for _ weeks _ and you find out I’m dying from that stupid letter and refuse to get the surgery. You wouldn’t be here if I didn’t send that text. I don’t need or want you pretending to love me.” The anger in his voice isn’t missed.

A few long seconds go by before Baekhyun uncovers Yixing’s lips, hand hovering just below Yixing’s chin. Yixing grabs Baekhyun’s hand to link back with his own and says, “Baekhyun, I’m not lying,” nearly desperate. “You sent it only a few hours ago and you know it takes longer than that to get here. If anything, it made me drive faster to get to you.” Yixing squeezes down on Baekhyun’s hands. Baekhyun peeps at his wall clock and yeah, a little over two hours has passed, but it could be the next day because he’s _ still starving. _ Or he could really be dead and is getting what he dreamed of while alive in the afterlife. Baekhyun shakes his head, mouthing a silent _ “No,” _ in return. “Baekhyun, you’re _ everything _and I can’t lose you,” he pleads. Baekhyun continues to shake his head. “Baekhyun, Baby, please just—we need to talk this out.”

_ Baby? _ Baekhyun scoffs. “You’re just saying that so I won’t die. I don’t believe you and—” He’s stopped mid-sentence by a brutal cough that has him bent over and puking liquid and rose petals onto the floor. He would have fallen over into his own mess if it weren’t for Yixing holding him by the waist. Thankfully, it doesn’t last for more than a minute and when he’s done, Yixing helps him sit up and back in his lap. Baekhyun wipes at his mouth with the hem of his shirt.

“Just listen to me—”

“This isn’t going away Yixing, not unless I believe you,” he interrupts.

Before Baekhyun has the chance to get another word in, Yixing, clearly frustrated, rushes out, “Baekhyun, you need to stop talking and rest your voice and just list—”

“You don’t love me, not like I want you to and I’m going to die, but I’ll be happy,” Baekhyun cuts Yixing off with for a second time. There’s a brief pause, but it’s enough for Baekhyun to let his own words sink in. It’s the first time he’s every admitted out loud that he’s going to die and he can’t help but begin to sob and sniffle as for Yixing becomes speechless, face _ devastated. _ Baekhyun cries, “I don’t want to be like Jongdae feeling absolutely _ nothing _ about you. I wouldn’t care if we hung out every day or became distant and never saw each other again. I can’t live like that; I can’t live without you so just—just reject me so I’ll have closure before I go.”

Tears fall from Yixing’s eyes yet he still gives a very firm, “No,” and cups Baekhyun’s cheeks, catching Baekhyun off guard. He ignores the rapid beating of his heart. _ No? He means—_“I don’t want you living without me either,” Yixing whispers and kisses Baekhyun for the briefest of seconds yet Baekhyun is already melting from how _ sincere _ those few seconds felt. Baekhyun is too stunned to even think of a reply and Yixing goes on, “I want you right here with me, every step of the way. When I finally get my master’s and find a cute puppy that Mongryong will love. I want you right there with me planning _ our _ wedding and us going on a million different trips exploring the world. I want you right there by my side dozing off as I’m reading some book when we’re too old to do much but sit and drink coffee and talk fondly of our old memories. I want you by my side forever Baekhyun.”

This time, their kiss lasts a bit longer as Yixing slides his lips against Baekhyun’s and Baekhyun doesn’t even try to resist, not when this is something he has longed years for—Yixing’s tongue gliding across his bottom lip, the tiny nibbles he gives, everything about the kiss has Baekhyun on cloud nine and pressing himself further into Yixing. Baekhyun whines when Yixing breaks their kiss, earning him a small peck on the cheek as Yixing intertwines their fingers together.

“Yixing,” Baekhyun sniffles and rests his head on Yixing’s shoulder. He wants to believe in Yixing, _ desperately so, _ and find comfort in knowing things are going to be okay, that he’s not going to die, but there’s still a bit of doubt in his mind. He can’t get caught up a sudden confession if it’s not the truth especially when Yixing walked out on him, leaving him to suffer all alone. “Then why? Why’d you run away?” he asks, cries becoming a soft hiccup.

“When you told me you love me,” Yixing begins, rubbing his hand soothingly down Baekhyun’s back, “I was confused because it made me happy. I was happy when you said you love me and I shouldn’t have been, not when I was dating Chanyeol.” Baekhyun smiles, hands clutching to Yixing’s shirt even more. “Then add the fact that you were dying because of me—I panicked and needed to leave and think.”

“It’s been almost _ a month, _ Yixing,” Baekhyun points out with no real bite to his voice.

“I know and there’s nothing I can do to change making you wait, but I want to be here for you now.” The little skepticism Baekhyun has in him must show because Yixing continues, “If I didn’t love you, I would have already hauled you off to the nearest hospital and convinced you to get that surgery. The more I thought things over, it made me realize I hate even the idea of you loving anyone else but me and dying because I couldn’t get to you fast enough. Deep down, I think I knew I always in love with you, but was too afraid to admit it. I was too afraid of allowing myself to fully love you only to have us fall apart in the end.”

Baekhyun hums and shifts to face Yixing properly. “We still could still end up a wreck. Are you not afraid now?”

“A little,” he admits, “but how much I love you outweighs any negative thoughts I might have about a future that isn’t here yet. I can’t be focused on the what ifs or else I’d drive the both us crazy. And I trust us enough to know that we’re in this until the end.”

“Yixing. I—” Baekhyun stops speaking, left speechless and trying to process every single word Yixing has said. “You love me? You _ really _ love me?” he asks, needing to hear it one more time.

“Byun Baekhyun,” Yixing starts so _ fondly _ and kisses Baekhyun quickly before grabbing his hands continuing, “I love how loud and infectious your laugh can be. I love when you try to cook us dinner but I always have to come in and save what’s left. I love when you yell at the top of your lungs at the PC when you lose or win in the video games you play. I love when you sing the nursery rhyme my grandparents did when I was a kid whenever I’m feeling homesick. I love all your cute moles that make me want to kiss you all over. I love how you can make me feel better on my worst days with a hug or a few simple words. You’re my best friend and the love of my life and I’m sorry it took years and you nearly dying for me to understand that. I love you Baekhyun, all of you; I’m really in love with you.”

“Zhang Yixing, I—I don’t want to die,” Baekhyun gets out, voice cracking and body trembling.

Even as Baekhyun’s lips wobble and tears run down his cheeks, Yixing presses his lips to Baekhyun’s. And Baekhyun focuses on Yixing, only Yixing and the way their lips slide together and how he can taste a hint of strawberry chapstick when he nips at Yixing’s bottom lip. He focuses on Yixing wrapping an arm securely around his waist before he’s slowly being led to lie his back, their lips never breaking. Baekhyun’s lips easily fall open for Yixing’s tongue to slip right between them, making Baekhyun whimper and cling to his back all the tighter when Yixing effortlessly traces over tongue and teeth. Baekhyun knows he’ll never tire of this, of Yixing and how he loves the way his heart flutters with each movement.

Time seems to stand still as they kiss and kiss and kiss; the only reason they stop is because Baekhyun’s throat aches and he has to catch his breath.

“You okay, Baby?” Yixing asks, rubbing soothing circles into Baekhyun’s back.

“Yeah,” Baekhyun coughs and then kisses Yixing’s cheek. “Maybe that's enough for now.” He wonders if fifteen minutes with some hot tea would be a good enough break.

“And maybe enough talking for you too. Your voice sounds like shit,” Yixing says. “Though, I have to ask because it’s the second time it’s happened, but is it normal for you to cough without petals? And please says that in as few words as possible.”

Baekhyun rolls his eyes playfully with a smile then answers, “Rare, but yes,” without much talking like Yixing wants and he needs then is quick to add. “But you _ just _ said you love me and I don’t think the petals and whatever would be gone _ that _ fast. I did read it’s not supposed to hurt to cough them up when feelings are returned.”

“Hm. Maybe not then,” Yixing sighs. “But we’re calling your doctor tomorrow morning.”

“Fine. And one more—”

Baekhyun is unable to get his thoughts out when he goes into a coughing fit; he can already feel petals spilling from his mouth. He shakes with every cough and hiccup, eyes tearing. He can barely register what Yixing’s saying or yelling over trying to make sure he hacks every petal up and doesn’t suffocate to death. His chest still heaves and his body won’t stop trembling, but as soon as he’s done, Baekhyun’s eyes immediately go the floor, questioning why it felt like he just dumped a bag of rose petals on the floor. _ This shouldn’t have happened; it shouldn’t have hurt. Yixing really loves me, right? And I believe him so _—He stares at the pile of rose petals and is left dumbfounded.

“The petals—they’re dying?” Yixing questions as he bends over to pick one up off the ground. “Wilted? Fresh? It’s a mix. Is this a first?”

“A first,” Baekhyun says, still clearly in shock. “It’s dying?” he questions as he looks to Yixing.

“I think so,” Yixing whispers. “I think we should—”

Baekhyun cuts Yixing off with a kiss, smiling into it when Yixing doesn’t fight it and wraps his arms around Baekhyun and pulls them both back down to the bed so Baekhyun lies on top of him. “Just a bit more?” Baekhyun asks in between kisses. Yixing hums—or maybe moans as a response, but it doesn’t matter when their lips continue to mesh together, laughter in between. The main flower inside of him is really _ dying _ and he’s going to spend the rest of his life with Yixing.

Baekhyun doesn’t think he’s ever felt this light before.

When Baekhyun begins to feel dizzy, he slowly sits up, getting completely off of Yixing so they’re side by side instead. He rests his head on Yixing’s shoulder, his head still pounding, he notices, now that he takes a moment to just breathe. “Babe, my head hurts,” Baekhyun whines. “I think from not eating much lately.”

“I’ll feed you then,” Yixing yawns.

“Thanks,” Baekhyun says, knocking his knees into Yixing’s. “I’m going to not talk for a while.” He rubs over his throat as Yixing hums in acknowledgment before pecking his cheek. “But one more thing before I stop talking—how’d you find me? Did you call my mom?”

Yixing shakes his head. “Because you always come here when you’re upset and run away from everything. It helps calm you down.”

_ Ah. He really knows me best. _ “I hate you.”

“Weren’t you just coughing up flowers for me?” Yixing teases as he stands. Baekhyun suddenly feels cold without Yixing by his side

“Don’t joke right now,” he laughs through though it’s painful. “I’m mad at you.”

Yixing cackles as he scoops Baekhyun up into his arms and carries him off. “Sounds like I need to kiss you more to change that.” He kisses Baekhyun’s cheek, causing Baekhyun to giggle. He’s then set down on the bathroom sink counter. “After I brush your teeth. And bathe you.” Baekhyun’s mouth drops open then it turns into a pout. Yixing slots himself between Baekhyun’s thighs and kisses his cheek again then his lips until Baekhyun is hooking his legs around him and tries to slip a hand underneath his shirt. _ “Baekhyun,” _ he warns and Baekhyun huffs and crosses his arms with a frown. “Where’d this energy come from anyway?” Baekhyun shrugs as Yixing grabs toothpaste and a toothbrush. “We’re not doing anything other than kissing, okay?” Baekhyun opens his mouth to protest, but Yixing continues, “You’re not in the best health right now.”

“I don’t care,” Baekhyun grumbles as Yixing gets his toothbrush ready. “I want—”

“To get better first. Let’s focus on that first, okay? And don’t force yourself to speak unless you have to. I’m taking you to the hospital after we eat by the way.” Baekhyun easily gives up and nods in agreement only because he knows how stubborn Yixing is and really won’t let them do anything beyond kissing until he’s well. “Do you know what you want to eat?” Baekhyun shakes his head. “I’ll fix you anything you want after we’re done here.”

Baekhyun grins, having a good feeling he’ll be able to keep down his food from now on.

Right as Yixing takes his chin between his thumb and forefinger, Baekhyun whispers, “Hey, Yixing,” and said man’s head tilts slightly with a raise of an eyebrow. “I love you.”

Yixing’s face softens into the fondest Baekhyun’s ever seen, making Baekhyun do the same. “I love you too,” Yixing echoes and pecks Baekhyun’s lips a few times before he begins brushing his teeth.

Baekhyun doesn’t stop smiling the entire time.

And true to his word, Yixing orders fried chicken per Baekhyun’s request and despite only being able to eat a small portion, he can’t stop grinning, so much so that his cheeks begin to hurt.

And as they sit and wait in the emergency room, his grin never falters, even after he has to leave Yixing’s side for far too many tests and hear one too many times the doctors’ disbelief that he isn’t already dead. The only thing he can ever says in reply is, _ “I have Yixing waiting for me so stop talking hurry up.” _

And as Yixing drives them back to his childhood home, bag full of different medications for Baekhyun to take in the backseat, Baekhyun can’t stop giggling when Yixing takes one of his hands into his own to hold.

“My boyfriend. My _ first _boyfriend,” Baekhyun beams, voice raspy, as Yixing speeds past someone driving way too slow before slowing a bit down. “Zhang Yixing is my boyfriend.” Baekhyun can even feel himself begin to bounce in his seat.

“First and _ last _ boyfriend. You have me for life,” Yixing comments and brings Baekhyun’s hand to his lips to kiss over his knuckles. Baekhyun bites down on his lip and blushes and _ God, _ the rest of his life is going to be spent with moments like this? He can’t wait. “But remember the doctors said you shouldn’t be talking at all for like three weeks so your throat can begin to properly heal.”

“Not possible,” Baekhyun sings quietly. “You love me. Zhang Yixing loves Byun Baekhyun.”

Yixing shakes his head. “I love you, a lot, and I’m really, really happy you’re feeling better than earlier, but Baekhyun, Baby, please stop talking. The faster your throat heals, the sooner you can get back to eating more solid foods.”

“I don’t care about that.”

“But I do,” Yixing states, voice raising a bit as he glances toward Baekhyun who just scrunches his nose. “I want to be able to cook for you and have you eat my food and for us to go on dates and have you eat whatever you want.”

“Sounds nice,” Baekhyun grumbles, knowing Yixing is right. “But what about work? How am I supposed to direct models and—” Baekhyun stops when his voice cracks. He clears his throat and takes a sip of the hot tea Yixing bought for him from the hospital cafeteria and continues, “I need to speak to work.”

“Well for one, not all your stories require you to speak to models or people at that, just the most recently the one you did with Sehun and that Jongin kid—I liked that piece by the way. The ones before that involved animals or inanimate objects. You could take time to research your next big story considering that magazine paid you well for the model piece.”

Baekhyun smiles impossibly wider, realizing Yixing still kept up with his work even when they weren’t speaking; it was just released two weeks ago. “Stop making sense,” Baekhyun groans as he squeezes down on Yixing’s hand. When Yixing snickers, Baekhyun rolls his eyes and then notices he’s back in the driveway of his childhood home. He lets go of Yixing’s hand to undo his seatbelt and leans back.

“And there’s another thing,” Yixing yawns when the car falls silent after Yixing shuts it off. That peaks Baekhyun’s interest and he turns his head towards his boyfriend, but Yixing doesn’t say anything, only unbuckling his seatbelt before reaching in the back for Baekhyun’s medications. He then gets out of the car, Baekhyun immediately following and rushing over to hold Yixing’s free hand.

“What’s the other thing?” Baekhyun asks, tugging Yixing his way as they walk to the side door. Yixing still doesn’t answer and Baekhyun quickly unlocks the door, leading them both inside. “Yi—Yixing,” he whines, voice cracking again.

They toe off their shoes and Yixing is the one dragging Baekhyun through the kitchen to the living room couch. Once settled, he then takes Baekhyun’s medications out, silently reading them one by one. It’s _ annoying _ , the little smirk Yixing has on his face as his eyes move back from side to side. Baekhyun begins tapping his foot _ loudly _ against the leg of the coffee table and rolls up the sleeves of his hoodie.

“Yixing, Babe, tell me,” Baekhyun pouts and he shakes Yixing by the shoulder. “Yixing, I’m going to be mad at you and have hours long conversations with Jongdae every single day if you don’t tell me. You know that’s possible”

Yixing begins to hum.

Yixing is irritating.

Yixing _ finally _ looks at Baekhyun when he’s done reading over the last bottle. “Remember what the doctors said,” Yixing starts. _ The doctors said a lot of useless things, _ Baekhyun thinks with a shrug. “They said you shouldn’t do anything physically demanding until you’re off your meds. _ All _ of your meds,” he painfully reminds and Baekhyun really pays attention now to whatever point Yixing is trying to make. He really loves his hapkido classes. “Which means the longer you keep talking, the longer we have to wait to have sex.”

The gears turn and Baekhyun’s eyes go wide as soon as he realizes Yixing isn’t planning on them having sex until he’s better—_ one-hundred percent better. _He stutters softly, “I—I think we can—I can’t—I don’t have to use my mouth at first? It’ll just take longer for my throat to heal if I talk like normal and we can still fu—”

“Nope,” Yixing says as he tugs Baekhyun right into his lap, pecking his lips as soon as they’re close enough. Baekhyun loops his arms around Yixing’s neck. “I’m going to fuck you,” Yixing states, gripping Baekhyun by the waist before smoothing his hand over his stomach. Baekhyun gulps as Yixing begins to kiss up his neck until he reaches just below his ear and whispers, “And when I do, I want _ all _ of you, none of that half-assed mess we were doing before.” As Baekhyun opens his mouth to speak, Yixing leans in, kissing him sweetly and moves them so Baekhyun ends up on his back with Yixing right between his legs. “So no talking unless you absolutely have to, right? We need you all better, right?”

“Yeah,” Baekhyun whispers.

“Good,” Yixing smiles and kisses Baekhyun’s cheek before moving down to his neck.

“But Yixing, what are you doing?” he asks, feeling a hand slip under his clothing and up his side.

“Distracting you from talking, of course,” Yixing smirks against his neck. “The doctors don’t want _ you _ overexerting yourself physically; I’m completely fine. Though we might have to keep kissing to a minimum and they did tell me not to get carried away if I decided to jerk you off so it won’t lead to us actually fucking.”

Well fuck the doctors for keeping that from him, probably thinking he’d be irresponsible enough to actually convince Yixing to have sex right away when he’s still recovering. That’s only partially true. Luckily, he has an amazing Yixing to tweak the rules a bit for both their benefit. Baekhyun runs his hand through Yixing’s hair and grins. “Then hurry up and—distract me,” Baekhyun sighs when Yixing licks and kisses up his throat.

“Gladly,” is all Yixing says before his little _ distraction _ begins.

_ All night. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The initial reaction to Baekhyun and Yixing finally becoming a couple is met with nothing but happiness from Baekhyun’s parents on their way back up from their hometown, including questions of marriage and kids. Then there was the three hour lecture for both Baekhyun and Yixing after they found out why Baekhyun needed to take so much medication and even more “small talks” in the weeks after. The same happened with Yixing’s grandparents and parents when they heard the news.

And their friends also seemed to be pretty excited of their relationship development as well, especially Jongdae who threw a tiny party for them. Though there was the occasional side-eye every now and then from Sehun. Minseok, Jongin, and Kyungsoo just congratulated them with words of, _ ‘About time!’ _ and the like.

But more than their friends and families happiness, came their own. 

The next several months are spent in absolute bliss as Baekhyun learns what it’s like to be in a relationship with Yixing and falls even more in love. He thought he was doted on a fair amount before they were together, but now Yixing seems to fawn over him even more. He loves waking up to Yixing cooking them breakfast in either of their apartments, always greeting him with a morning kiss that sometimes ends a bit more heated than expected. He loves cuddling with Yixing when he’s had a rough day and know his presence is there not just as a friend, but his lover as well. He especially loves when they take Mongryong for walks and seeing Yixing grin at their surroundings—at _ him_—in that same goofy smile he used to give his past boyfriends as they hold hands.

Yixing makes him feel safe and warm and loved on an entirely new scale than before and it always has Baekhyun in awe that Yixing is _ his. _

The only issue Baekhyun actually has with their relationship is sex. And it’s not necessarily a problem because he loves when Yixing sneaks up behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist and rocks them back and forth before kissing along his neck and slipping a hand pass the hem of his pants to make him come. He loves feeling the weight of Yixing’s cock in his hands, the little moans and grunts Yixing always lets out until he’s spilling over himself or somewhere on Baekhyun. He loves leaving marks all across Yixing’s body—especially right over the veins on his hips—and loves when Yixing does the same to him. It’s a million times better than before, even if they haven’t actually fucked each other yet. It’s the most intimate they’ve ever been yet Baekhyun craves and needs more.

It’s really neither of their faults that Baekhyun still has to take his medications all the way into December, but Dr. Jung hasn’t given the all clear. Apparently he had three main flowers instead of the typical one for some reason; Yixing likes to joke each one was for each time Baekhyun fell in love with him, but it seems like a legitimate enough reason. But it’s annoying that all the way into December, Baekhyun still hasn’t had Yixing’s dick in his mouth or ass and hasn’t even got to fuck his boyfriend just _ once. _

Baekhyun _ hates _ that it’s preventing him from being even closer with Yixing. He wants Yixing to learn and explore his body even further and in turn do the same for his boyfriend. He wants them to connect in a way they haven’t before and it’s irritating he has to have patience and _ wait, _ wait because Yixing says so. It makes Baekhyun groan and whine and complain every single time Yixing denies him, telling him as soon as he’s off his meds, he can have _ anything _ he wants.

So Baekhyun stopped asking about two months ago, deciding that he’ll be good and wait like Yixing wants, anticipating the day he can fully give himself over to Yixing.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


There’s an annoying buzz filling Baekhyun’s ear as he tries to drift back to sleep. He knows it’s his phone, but really, who could be disturbing his sleep this early with a stupid phone call? He finally got two days off from work after months of researching and running around different countries. He thinks it was punishment for taking a month long break to visit his parents and where he thought he would die and then declining to work with an asshole of a high profile client for a story. They know he hates traveling overseas, at least when Yixing’s not with him; thank fuck his contract ends in four months and twelve days. Then add the fact that he and Yixing spent all of last night watching old favorites on Disney+ and didn’t get to bed until around 4AM where minutes upon minutes were spent kissing and jerking each other off with even more kissing after until they fell asleep.

Baekhyun is _ tired _ and whines when he grabs his phone from the nightstand, ready to turn it off until he notices that’s Dr. Jung’s number displayed on the screen. He quickly sits up and answers his phone.

“Good morning Dr. Jung. It’s Baekhyun speaking,” Baekhyun says, quite cheerfully, when he picks up.

_ “Hello Baekhyun and good morning to you too,” _ Dr. Jung greets. _ “Sorry about calling you so early.” _

“Oh, it’s fine! I was actually getting up since Yixing made breakfast,” he lies, but Dr. Jung doesn’t need to know his rest was interrupted. And Yixing isn’t in bed which means his boyfriend is making breakfast anyway. A half-truth is better than a lie, he figures. He gets up and out of bed, stretching before walking over to the door. “Was something wrong with my last test?”

_ “No, nothing of the sort. Everything went fine,” _ Dr. Jung answers. Baekhyun pauses in his steps. _ “But I did call about your results.” _ Baekhyun gulps and listens intently, heart racing. He’s only heard disappointing news from Dr. Jung so far and hopes this time is different. It’s not likely, but he can still have a little faith. _ “All tests came back negative; you’re officially cleared of Hanahaki.” _

_ What? I’m free? _ Baekhyun drops his phone and stumbles picking it back up. “I’m—it’s all gone? Like really gone?” Baekhyun asks in a rush just to be one-hundred percent sure, eyes blinking rapidly. “Like no more taking medication or doctor visits?” 

Dr. Jung chuckles. _ “Well, you should have three days left of medication and though the main flowers are gone, I need you to finish those off for any remaining remnants like pieces of rose petals or stems that could be floating around as a precaution because you’ll be coughing them up otherwise.” _

“I’m really Hanahaki free,” Baekhyun smiles. “I—thanks for sticking with me all this time Dr. Jung.”

_ “It’s no problem, Baekhyun,” _ Dr. Jung says. _ “Though it’s my job, I was really rooting for you. Even when I called you reckless for nearly throwing your life away for Yixing.” _

“Well, I _ did _ almost die,” Baekhyun jokes around with. “But really, thank you. Have a good day Dr. Jung.”

_ “You too Baekhyun. I’ll tell my secretary to set up a six month follow up appointment to see how things are going for you. Enjoy your new life with Yixing. Bye-bye.” _

“Bye.”

The phone hangs up and Baekhyun can’t stop grinning. He’s _ officially _ Hanahaki free. Yixing really loves him and he loves Yixing. He should tell Yixing right away! But as soon as his hand is on the door knob, Baekhyun remembers something _ very _ important—the lack of having Yixing’s dick anywhere in him. He’s waited far too many torturous months of not getting his way with Yixing telling him _ ‘We should wait ‘til you’re one-hundred percent better,’ _ more times than he can count. Hell, Yixing even gave him a playful punch to the arm once when he said he wouldn’t mind sacrificing a little of his health if it meant having both their dicks sucked and him bent in half on their bed. 

But now Baekhyun doesn’t have to be worried about being told no or to be patient. He’s wide awake and has a plan because he is definitely getting his way _ soon. _

Baekhyun walks over to Yixing’s closet and picks out an oversized green Christmas sweater he remembers Minseok giving Yixing a few years ago. It’s typically ugly with a gaudy, fully decorated 3D tree and presents underneath. Baekhyun doesn’t know if the bow around the neckline makes it even more terrible or perfect for this occasion. Baekhyun shrugs; the important thing is that the sweater will cover his ass and dick for now. He then heads straight to the bathroom, hearing dishes clang in the distance. He takes his time undressing and showering, even with brushing his teeth and lotioning up to make sure every inch of his skin smells amazing and is soft to the touch.

When Baekhyun deems himself ready, he slips the sweater on and heads straight for the kitchen. He finds Yixing at the stove cooking what looks like pancakes with strawberries. _ Only in his boxer briefs. _ Today must really be his lucky day. He then glances down to see Mongryong perched at the side of Yixing’s bare feet. Mongryong doesn’t move from his spot, but his hips wiggle when he notices Baekhyun yet his attention quickly goes back to Yixing. _ Greedy. _ Baekhyun tiptoes into the kitchen and slots himself right behind Yixing, wrapping his arms around him.

“G’morning Baby,” Yixing greets and twists himself around to kiss Baekhyun soundly on the lips.

“You ate without me?” Baekhyun pouts yet leans back in, loving the taste of strawberries on Yixing’s lips.

“Just a few strawberries so don’t worry,” Yixing answers and kisses the tip of Baekhyun’s nose as his hands drop to Baekhyun’s waist. “You look festive. Were you cold?”

Baekhyun shakes his head as he giggles through a, “Nope,” and pecks Yixing’s lips before escaping from his hold to sit at the kitchen table. “Heat’s fine; no need to turn it up.” He starts swinging his legs.

“You sure are in a good mood,” Yixing comments as he turns his attention back to the pancakes, flipping them over. He tosses a strawberry to Mongryong. “You usually walk around naked, but you’re not cold. Did something happen in the short amount of time that we’ve been up?”

“Maybe something did,” Baekhyun singsongs and props his elbow on the table to rest his head in his palm. Getting news that the flowers growing inside of him were finally gone was fantastic news, but Baekhyun is far more excited about what’s to come after breakfast. He starts bouncing in his seat when Yixing begins to plate their food. “I want maple syrup too. The real stuff.”

“I know, Baby,” Yixing snickers. “I even have the mini pitcher in the microwave ready to heat for extra.”

“Thank you, love you,” he sings.

Yixing just grins as he places their plates onto the table and then heats up Baekhyun’s extra syrup, pouring them both milk in the fifteen second wait while Baekhyun stares at his syrupy, strawberry topped pancakes and then to Yixing’s simple maple syrup topped ones before getting up and taking the small bowl of strawberries on the counter and his extra syrup over to the table as Yixing sits with their milk.

“What do you want to do today?” Yixing asks as he scoots the bowl of strawberries closer towards himself and the pitcher toward Baekhyun. “I feel like you already have something in mind.”

_ Oh, I do. _ But Yixing can’t know that right now. “Be lazy,” Baekhyun says as he cuts into his pancakes then properly suggests, “And finish narrowing down an apartment.” He grabs a strawberry from Yixing’s bowl to throw at Mongryong who’s now lying underneath the table.

“Okay. We cut the list down to three right?” Yixing asks and Baekhyun hums through his mouthful of food. “Though I still don’t get why we just aren’t moving into either of ours.”

Baekhyun could give a list of reasons why moving into a new apartment is better for them both, but his top answer will always remain the same. He pops a strawberry into his mouth and swallows before stating, “Because it’ll be filled with memories of just us together. Not you and Sehun or you and Junmyeon. Or me and random men. Just us and our life together,” and gets right back to eating. He hears Yixing’s fork—or maybe knife—clink loudly against his plate and tears his eyes away from his food to see Yixing’s lips curl upward into one of the biggest grins he’s ever seen. “What?”

“It’s nothing, just—how much you make me happy is allI was thinking,” Yixing gets out softly before sipping on his milk.

Baekhyun blushes. “I’d kiss you if I weren’t eating. Teach me how to make pancakes from scratch next?” It’d be a good breakfast food for Yixing to wake up to when the both of them have days off and it’s Baekhyun’s turn to cook. He needs something to add to his short list of breakfast foods he can make. French toast and omelettes are getting a bit stale for him.

“Yes, Baby,” he smiles and gets up to pour himself more milk. On the way back to his seat, Yixing stops right in front of Baekhyun to tilt his head up by the chin and place a soft kiss on his lips. Baekhyun blushes for a second time in less than a minute.

The rest of breakfast is spent chatting about small work updates and how they definitely need to put their Christmas tree up and how they still haven’t picked somewhere to travel as Baekhyun’s gift to Yixing for graduating this upcoming spring. Mongryong also enjoys the strawberries they keep tossing to him. When they’re done, they relocate to the living room couch and Yixing opens his laptop to continue their apartment search.

“I kind of don’t like where this one is located. And the bathroom looked a bit old,” Baekhyun comments as Yixing pulls up the site to apartment number one and makes himself comfortable by laying his head on Yixing’s lap. He points to the picture. “It looks nicer here than it did in person. False advertisement.”

“It’s cheaper than the other two though,” Yixing points out. “Hm. And also the farthest from work and school for the both of us. Want to cross it out?” He looks down at Baekhyun as Baekhyun looks up.

“Yeah,” he sighs. “I think we were blinded by the price.” Yixing laughs and begins pulling up the other two apartment complexes. Baekhyun pats at his stomach and thinks, _ It’s time. _ “Dr. Jung called and said I was Hanakai free. Seemed really happy for me,” Baekhyun states rather casually for something _ this _ huge. “I was leaning towards the apartment—uh Woodmere Court—since it’d be a thirty minute commute for both of us for work. You’d have forty-five for school, but it fits with your work schedule.”

“Dr. Jung said what?” Yixing asks as he glances down, poking Baekhyun on his forehead. Baekhyun sits up, smiling, and does nothing more. “You’re really free of everything? No roots or thorns or petals? Like nothing?” he asks in quick succession this time and Baekhyun simply nods with each one. Yixing stands and begins pacing back and forth. “We—we need to go and celebrate! Do the guys know? Should I call them? What about your parents? Will they stop looking like they want to kill me?” he rambles, making Baekhyun laugh when Mongryong thinks Yixing is playing some sort of game and paces right along with him, trying to attack his feet. “Then there’s my grandparents and parents.”

“Celebrating with other people can wait,” Baekhyun says, still amused.

Yixing must not have heard him because he continues to babble, “Do you want seafood? Pasta? You love pizza! Should we eat pizza? Or what about barbeque—”

“Yixing,” Baekhyun yells loud enough for his boyfriend to hear. Yixing instantly stops and his full attention is on Baekhyun. “We can go out and celebrate any time; we can tell everyone later, but I think you’re forgetting something important.”

“What could be more important than this?” Yixing tilts his head and sits right in front of Baekhyun on the floor. “You don’t want to celebrate?” he asks, resting his chin on Baekhyun’s knee.

“Oh, _ I do_,” Baekhyun smirks. “Just not the sharing kind because I need you to want me all to yourself for now.”

“Is that so?” Yixing questions and Baekhyun can tell the gears are turning inside Yixing’s head when he slides his hand up Baekhyun’s thigh and squeezes down.

“Mhmm because if I remember correctly, you gave me a very stern _ ‘no’ _when I asked you to fuck me about a few weeks after we got together. And then a lot of times after that.” 

“Because you were still recovering,” he points out as he stands and then crosses his arms, eyeing Baekhyun intently. “But my baby is one-hundred percent better now?”

“Yup!” Baekhyun cheers as he stands and loops his arms around Yixing’s neck. “So celebrating with other people can wait, right?”

There’s a brief pause as their noses touch and lips barely brush but that changes when Baekhyun gasps, quickly turning into a giggle as Yixing gropes his ass and tugs him closer by the waist. Baekhyun melts into the kiss that Yixing starts, trying to take it slow, but it’s hard to do when it’s Yixing he’s kissing. Yixing who always takes his breath away and makes him feel like he’s the only one in the world. It doesn’t seem real sometimes despite Yixing’s unplanned, constant whispers of ‘_ I love you, always Baekhyun,’ _or them simply talking about their future together when he’s spent years pining. But Baekhyun knows he can believe in Yixing and the love he has for him.

Yixing lifts Baekhyun off the ground by the thighs to carry him to the arm of the couch and sets him down, standing right between his legs. Time once again seems to stand still as Yixing leans in, but doesn’t kiss him, only staring—_ admiring _ Baekhyun and Baekhyun blushes under his gaze as Yixing’s eyes travel from his eyes to his lips.

“You really make me happy Baekhyun,” Yixing whispers with a wide grin. “I’m happy. I feel like I can fully love you more than ever now.”

When Yixing tries to kiss him, Baekhyun pulls back and twines their fingers together with a single hand, the other steady on Yixing’s hip. “You can only fully love me with sex? Is that what you mean?” Baekhyun questions, frowning. Was sex more important than he realized despite Yixing being the one to put limitations on them?

Yixing shakes his head. “Whether we’re having sex or not, I’d love you wholeheartedly _ always, _” Yixing begins to explain. “But I mean since it was taking so long for the Hanahaki to go away, longer than anyone else Dr. Jung has known and even the other specialist you saw said so.” His voice grows quieter as he says, “I thought it meant you still had doubts on if I really love you or not.” Baekhyun’s eyes widen at the admission. “And I know it’s stupid because Dr. Jung said it was taking so long because yours was so severe; you were going to die within a few days of me showing up. Yet I—I still felt like it was my fault. So for me, having you completely recovered means there’s only trust between us. Like we’re fully free of any limitations.”

“I’m so—”

Yixing hums in disapproval as he shuts Baekhyun up with a kiss. “I’m not letting you apologize, if anything I should be the one—”

This time, it’s Baekhyun’s turn to interrupt whatever nonsense Yixing was about to say by pressing their lips together until he’s able to coax Yixing’s mouth open and slip his tongue inside, exploring every inch until Yixing relaxes under his touch. It’s unbelievable that Yixing would think he doubted whether he truly loves him or not. Well, Baekhyun _ did _ say he didn’t believe him at first so maybe it’s understandable. But he trusts Yixing more than anyone in the world and after Yixing’s entire confession, how could he still not have faith in Yixing?

“I’m not letting you say anything stupid either,” Baekhyun breathes out when he breaks the kiss for a second before pulling Yixing right back in for what feels like minutes on end. “I know you love me and I’ve been one-hundred percent positive of it since the day you said so. It doesn’t feel real sometimes, like I’m dreaming, but I know you love me.” Yixing smiles as he places kisses all over Baekhyun’s face. Baekhyun snickers then teases a, “Though I think I might love you more. I did have Hanahaki and all.”

Yixing rolls his eyes his eyes and they laugh into the next several kisses until Yixing is kissing him slowly, deeply and holds Baekhyun so delicately that he blushes all the way down to his chest at how Yixing is making him feel. But the tempo soon changes when the kisses become little rougher, a little sloppier when Baekhyun slips a hand into Yixing’s underwear to rub over his cock.

“Babe, I need more,” Baekhyun whines in between kisses, wanting Yixing to take control. God knows he’d be content with kissing Yixing like this forever before they finally fucked.

Yixing doesn’t respond, at least not verbally as his lips move from Baekhyun’s lips to neck and _ fucking wow _ at how Yixing’s tongue licks up his neck before he’s sucking marks into his skin. It’s exciting. It’s hot. It’s a _ first _ with how assured and confident Yixing is with every nip and lick on his skin. Baekhyun had figured Yixing always held back a bit when things got too heated between them and now it’s nearly overwhelming at how they can just let go from here on out. He almost wants to punch or kick or throw a childish tantrum at Yixing for making him wait for this, but really, _ wow—_Baekhyun can only sit there in complete _ bliss _letting out soft whimpers as he hears Yixing’s sweater tear and feels tiny bites across his collarbones.

Thankfully, Baekhyun has enough sense to stop touching Yixing’s dick for a second to remove the sweater himself before it’s completely ruined. Once stripped, Yixing’s eyes rake over Baekhyun’s body as he trails his fingers down his chest, making the younger go red. He reads Yixing’s lips as they mouth, _ Beautiful. _

_ “Yixing,” _ Baekhyun whines. _ “Stop it.” _

“Stop what?” Yixing asks, tiny smirk forming, and then pulls Baekhyun flush against himself by the thighs. Baekhyun naturally winds his limbs around him. “Hm? Stop what, Baby?” he follows with, fingers circling Baekhyun’s cock as he thumbs the slit. 

Baekhyun shakes his head, holding in a moan, and then buries his face into his boyfriend’s neck. Admitting Yixing’s gaze alone has him all warm and fuzzy is embarrassing enough, but with the way Yixing is moving his hand along his dick, Baekhyun isn’t too sure if he’d be able to say it without stumbling or moaning. “Bed,” is all he manages to say. They need a change anyway unless they want to buy a new couch.

Yixing easily lifts Baekhyun from the couch to carry him off to the bedroom. He sets Baekhyun down on the edge of the bed and kneels on both knees.

“Yixing? What are—” Baekhyun stutters, but is unable to finish. Baekhyun expected a continuation of more kisses and marks across his body, not for Yixing to hook his thighs over his shoulders and lazily lick and kiss along his cock before he’s sucking the tip into his mouth. Baekhyun’s nails dig into the sheets and words get caught in his throat as soon as Yixing starts bobbing his head. “Fuck, missed this,” Baekhyun sighs, fingers tangling into Yixing’s hair.

Yixing pulls off, flattening his tongue along the slit of Baekhyun’s cock before saying, “It’s only been a few weeks Baby,” with a raise of his brow. “Missed it that much?”

“Five and one day. You’re new job gets in my way and you’ve only kissed me or jerked me off since it started. You’ve been busy, so—_yes, _ ” he breathes as Yixing takes him back down to the base, torturously slow. Baekhyun sees Yixing roll his eyes and he knows it’s in annoyance. “You got to admit to missed it too, right? You _ love _ sucking dick and were never stingy with it. Admit it and I’ll blow you every single day for a month.” Yixing stops, pulling off of Baekhyun’s cock completely. Talking of Yixing’s new job always irritates Yixing without fail because it takes away time for them and limits how much Yixing can travel with Baekhyun now. It irritates Yixing yet Baekhyun can’t help but be a little annoying when he likes seeing his boyfriend pout so cutely. Plus, if it’s anything like their past dynamics, it’ll get them faster to Yixing fucking him.

“Pretty sure you’d do that for free, Baby,” Yixing quips back. Then there’s a brief pause where Yixing pops two fingers into his mouth that makes Baekhyun tilt his head instead of being a smartass in return. His curiosity is sated when Yixing uses those same fingers to circle around Baekhyun’s rim before slipping them inside.

_ “Oh my God Yixing,” _ Baekhyun gasps, long and drawn out. _ “You—you—” _ he stutters and is unable to say more. How can he when Yixing starts moving his fingers back and forth? _ God, _ it’s really been a while and if Yixing’s fingers alone feel like heaven, Baekhyun can’t even imagine what it’s going to be like with his cock. When Baekhyun attempts to grind down on Yixing’s fingers to get an even nicer rhythm going, he’s held in place with a firm grip on his hip from Yixing’s hand that makes it difficult. All he can do is weakly clench around the digits and whine and moan, thinking of how unfair his boyfriend is. It’s been forever since he had anything in him and Yixing won’t let him have a little more fun? _ Unfair. _ “I hate you,” he grits out. “I hate you,” he repeats with no real malice when Yixing moves his fingers a bit faster.

“You don’t,” Yixing states with a smirk that turns into a fond smile. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” Baekhyun pouts and then has to swallow hard when Yixing crooks his fingers just right. “Now get back up here so I can kiss you.”

“Don’t want to,” Yixing snickers, “I think I understand why you liked teasing me so much back then.” Baekhyun’s eyes widen as Yixing sucks him back down until his nose hits hair.

_ Fuck my past self, _ Baekhyun thinks as his eyes roll back and Yixing moves his mouth in time with his fingers. _ Fast. _ “Yixing babe, I’m going to— _ Babe I _ —” Baekhyun stammers when Yixing hits his prostate over and over, never letting up. Baekhyun feels his stomach tighten and it’s hard to think straight. _ “Yixing,” _ he moans again and again, tugging on his boyfriend’s hair as he comes, spilling into Yixing’s mouth. He falls back onto the bed, vision blurred, as Yixing slows down, but continues to thrust his fingers and bob his head until Baekhyun is squeezing his thighs against Yixing’s head.

When Yixing stands, he quickly removes his underwear and rushes into Baekhyun’s arms, covering his body with his own as their lips meet and move together in a heated kiss. Baekhyun uses the position for his hands to roam freely down Yixing’s arm, Yixing’s back, Yixing’s ass, _ anywhere _ they can reach as Yixing takes turns with planting kisses upon Baekhyun’s lips and throat and across his shoulders.

“I wanted you to fuck me,” Baekhyun pouts when Yixing’s kisses begin to trail lower and his tongue swirls around his nipple. Yixing cackles, even having the nerve to stick out his tongue before biting down and sucking lightly on a spot just above his navel. “It’s not funny. That was way too fast.”

“You’re cute,” Yixing says. “And we’re _ nowhere _near done.”

“We’re—_oh. _” Baekhyun instantly yanks Yixing back up and crashes their lips together, excited for what’s to come. But now, Baekhyun thinks as Yixing begins to mark his thighs, that so far most of the attention has been on himself and it’s a little unfair to both of them, especially when Baekhyun has been more than ready—as deemed by himself—to have Yixing’s cock in his mouth again. It only takes Yixing moving to a new area of skin to claim before he’s whispering, “Stand up.”

Yixing kisses him for a few more seconds then does as told; Baekhyun slips off the bed and onto his knees. Yixing’s already sliding his fingers through Baekhyun’s hair as Baekhyun licks his lips, taking Yixing’s cock into his hand and guiding it straight to his mouth. Yixing lets out a soft sigh when Baekhyun only laps and sucks at the head, downright _ teasing _ his boyfriend with added kisses to his dick until he gets fingers twisting in his hair and his head is edged forward a bit. Baekhyun laughs around Yixing’s cock and wraps his fingers around it from the base, covering what his lips won’t reach as he begins bobbing his head up and down, moving his hand in sync.

And _ fuck, _ Baekhyun’s missed having Yixing’s fingers pull at his hair before he’s using them to gently cup his cheek and tilt his head up so Baekhyun is forced to look at him, at every way his face contorts in pleasure. He’s missed hearing soft whimpers of his own name as he drops his hand to join his other at Yixing’s hip and sucks Yixing all the way down to the base of his cock, pulling back up slowly to repeat the motion. He’s missed the way Yixing tastes and felt as his cock drags across his tongue. It almost makes him upset with Yixing for all the months they’ve missed out on doing this because _ ‘Baby your throat needs to heal too,’ _ but having Yixing fall apart so easily just for him makes it well worth the wait.

When Baekhyun feels drool trickling out the corners of his mouth, Baekhyun pulls off completely and strokes Yixing off with his hand as he swallows the spit that’s pooled in his mouth. 

_ “Fuck, Baekhyun, Baby,” _ Yixing rasps. “You’re so—_perfect. _”

All Baekhyun does is smirk as he takes Yixing back down, placing Yixing’s hand back on the top of his head. It takes Yixing no time to thrust into Baekhyun’s mouth without much care. It has Baekhyun smiling and hand slipping down to tug lightly at his own dick. And soon, Yixing is the one pulling away until just the tip of his cock remains inside Baekhyun and jerking himself off until he’s coming into Baekhyun’s mouth then across his lips, come dripping down his chin and onto the floor.

“God, you’re amazing,” Yixing sighs, yanking Baekhyun up from the floor and into his arms. He then swipes his thumb over Baekhyun’s chin, collecting what remains of his come before pushing his thumb into Baekhyun’s mouth for him to suck.

Baekhyun slides his fingers into Yixing’s hair and grins, “I know,” before kissing him deeply, arms looped around his neck. “Though you really should have let me do that sooner.”

“Not with how your health was,” he says, guiding Baekhyun backwards. “It was for the best.”

“If you say so,” Baekhyun grumbles and leaves it at that.

As soon as Baekhyun’s butt hits the center of the bed, he clutches onto Yixing’s arms as his boyfriend hovers over him. And somehow, it makes Baekhyun giddy yet nervous to be underneath Yixing when they’ve been in this position so many times before—just some minutes ago in fact. Baekhyun swallows hard and hooks his hand at the nape of Yixing’s neck to bring him down for a kiss to calm his nerves. Yixing must be able to tell something is off because he pulls back just a few moments later.

“You okay, Baby?” Yixing asks and pecks Baekhyun on his lips. “You’re shaking.”

“It’s the first time you’re fucking me and I’m just—overwhelmed? Really, really, _ really _ happy, but really, really nervous,” Baekhyun rushes out in one breath. “I’ve waited _ so long _ for this Yixing and you love me. I can’t help but be nervous,” he says a lot quieter this time. “What if it’s worse than when we were fuckbuddies? What it’s absolutely horrible?”

“You want to wait then?” Yixing asks and Baekhyun playfully smacks his arm. He can’t believe Yixing would even ask such a thing after making him wait _ months _ on top of the years they weren’t together_. _ “Okay, no waiting,” he laughs. “But if it’s bad, then we just practice?” he says and cups Baekhyun cheek. “_Lots _of practicing until we get it right.”

Baekhyun pouts yet the thought of _ ‘lots of practicing,’ _ with Yixing has his cheeks heating up. “I feel like some dumb high schooler right now. I’m getting worked up over nothing.”

“Shush. It’s not dumb.” Yixing pecks Baekhyun’s lips. “It’s okay; _ we’re _ okay. What do you need me to do then? Can’t have my baby all tense.”

“Kisses,” Baekhyun answers then adds, _ “Everywhere.” _

“I can do that.”

“Good because my dick kinda deflated during our mini talk.”

Yixing snorts and laughs wholeheartedly as he says, “You’re ridiculous,” followed by peppering kisses over Baekhyun’s face, making him join in on Yixing’s continued laughter that’s softened.

“But you love me,” Baekhyun smiles, pecking a spot where Yixing’s dimple shows on his left cheek.

“I do. I really do love you Baekhyun.”

“Love you too.”

Yixing hums and starts slow when he presses his lips softly against Baekhyun’s and Baekhyun doesn’t know how many times Yixing plans on making his heart turn to mush and his insides flip, but it’s more than welcomed as he leans into each kiss, loving how they just seem to _ fit. _ Baekhyun almost whines when Yixing stops kissing him, but that quickly changes into a tiny moan when Yixing takes hold of his cock, stroking it slow as his kisses travel down his neck and across his chest. Baekhyun arches into every bite and nip and touch that Yixing gives, never getting enough of how his hands feel fanned across his ribs or the gentle way he kisses down his spine once Baekhyun is flipped over onto his stomach. Every touch and kiss has his skin burning and and he knows he needs more.

_ Now. _

“Yixing, Babe, I—I can’t wait,” Baekhyn breathes out as Yixing marks his thighs. He then is tugging Yixing back up hove over him. “I’m sorry I can’t—I just—”

“It’s okay,” Yixing smiles, sweetly, giving Baekhyun a kiss to match. Yixing then reaches over into the nightstand, pulling out a bottle of lube. “I got you. You can focus on me later.”

“You spoil me too much,” Baekhyun says, bottom lip jutting out as he cups Yixing’s face.

“I love doing it though,” he says right back, grinning and quickly pecking Baekhyun’s lips before sitting up. Yixing pulls Baekhyun a little closer to himself by the thighs, nearly on his lap. He then pops the cap of the lube to slick his own cock with before rubbing a little around Baekhyun’s rim. “Ready?” he asks and lines the tip of his cock against Baekhyun’s hole with one hand as the other presses down on the back of Baekhyun’s thigh.

Baekhyun nods, biting down on his own lip and holding his breath as Yixing slides in. He’s waited for this moment for _ years _ and then had to spend the last few months not giving into temptation and getting himself off with one of his toys and _ holy fuck. _ Yixing feels absolutely _ amazing _ when he’s pushed himself all the way in; he’s never felt _ so full _in his entire life. Baekhyun can’t stop smiling and shaking and thinks he might have started drooling already. He wipes at his lips and takes a deep breath before tugging a grinning Yixing down for a kiss.

“More kisses?” Yixing smirks and then pecks Baekhyun’s lips several times. “You’re even more jittery than before,” he chuckles.

_ “God yes,” _ Baekhyun sighs and captures Yixing’s lips once more. “Do you know how long I’ve wanted this? How excited I am?”

“I have an idea,” he states and nips at Baekhyun’s ear before sucking a mark into the skin just below it then moving down to his neck. “You’re not the only one who’s wanted this, you know.”

And Baekhyun can only let out soft gasps as Yixing places kisses anywhere his lips will reach as his hands roam up Yixing’s back and down his arms and tangle in his hair and cup his face to kiss him sweetly over and over. But soon that isn’t enough and using Yixing’s shoulders as leverage, Baekhyun lifts his hips as much as he can and rolls them down, causing Yixing to let out a slight moan. It’s all the motivation Yixing apparently needs to begin rocking into Baekhyun slowly, forearms perched on either side of his head.

Baekhyun’s eyes are blown wide with each thrust Yixing gives and all he can do it clutch onto Yixing’s shoulders, hoping his nails don’t dig in too hard. But it’s difficult with they way Yixing’s cock drags in and out against his walls and when Yixing pauses every now and then to nip at his lips along with shallow thrusts. It’s all dizzying, maddening, absolutely electrifying and Baekhyun can’t get enough.

When Yixing sits up, he wraps his hands around Baekhyun’s thighs and each thrust seems to have slowed, almost agonizingly so, but Baekhyun loves watching Yixing, watching how his eyes rake over his body and he bites down on his lip when Baekhyun rocks down on him slowly and teases at his own nipples. As soon as Baekhyun reaches for his own cock, Yixing swats his hand away only to thread their fingers together.

“Babe, why?” Baekhyun groans. He reaches for his cock with his free and Yixing grabs that one too and begins to fuck into him faster. “I want—”

“Not yet,” Yixing breathes out before pulling Baekhyun up and into his lap, kissing him hard as Baekhyun winds an arm around his neck.

Baekhyun starts moaning—no laughing—maybe a mix of both when Yixing’s hands slide down to his ass to guide his hips to grind down on his cock. “Shit Babe, you—” Yixing’s thrusts up seem to get a bit harder, a little deeper than before, hitting his prostate repeatedly. “Babe, I—” Baekhyun can barely get a word out, his thoughts becoming a jumbled mess as his nails scratch down Yixing’s chest and he mouths at his neck. “Touch me,” he’s able to somehow breathe out between his moans and whispered _ oh my god’ _s and calls of his boyfriend’s name.

Yixing doesn’t waste any time, jerking Baekhyun off until he comes, cradling Yixing’s head and toes curling against the sheets. And Yixing continues to fuck into Baekhyun, though the pace softens, letting Baekhyun milk out his orgasm. As soon as Baekhyun’s high dies down, he adjusts his position so his legs sit underneath Yixing’s thighs. He then takes Yixing’s hands into his own, using them to steady himself as he begins to bounce himself on Yixing’s cock, clenching around him tight. Overstimulating himself be damned; he needs to make Yixing come.

_ “Fuck, Baby,” _ Yixing moans, low and drawn out. _ “Fuck, you’re so good.” _

“I know,” Baekhyun smirks, voice shaky as he moves himself up and down. Yixing snorts with a _ ‘you’re silly’ _ mumbled under his breath and it makes Baekhyun chuckle before wholeheartedly laughing into the kiss that Yixing starts as he guides Baekhyun to lie on his back once more. “Love—you,” he hiccups and wraps his limbs around Yixing as Yixing’s pace quickens. “I—really, really—love you.”

“I know,” Yixing sighs against Baekhyun’s lips, rhythm starting to get sloppy. _ He’s close. _ “I love you so, so much Byun Baekhyun,” he gets out, each word breathy.

Baekhyun can only smile as they sloppily kisses over and over until their lips just press together, Baekhyun’s bottom lip caught between Yixing’s teeth as Yixing comes inside him. Baekhyun moans, the feeling of Yixing spilling into him, cock twitching, too amazing not to. When Yixing finishes riding out his orgasm, he carefully pulls himself out of Baekhyun, but continues to lie on top of him, carding his fingers through Baekhyun’s hair. Baekhyun hates how his ass clenches around nothing but air and maybe he should have asked Yixing to stay put for a little while. 

“You okay?” Yixing asks, wiping away tears from the corners of Baekhyun’s eyes.

Baekhyun kisses Yixing’s dimple then answers, “Yeah, though I might be just a teeny bit sensitive right now.”

“A break would be good then, especially since we’re late for Mongryong’s walk,” Yixing says, yawning through the later half of his sentence. “But first,” he starts and doesn’t finish as he leans in to kiss Baekhyun again and again and again until he’s rolling them both so Baekhyun lies on top.

Of course things become a bit more intense when Yixing starts groping Baekhyun’s ass and Baekhyun has his lips on Yixing’s neck, thoroughly marking over every inch of skin. The only thing that stops them are the growly whines and tiny barks that fill the air. Baekhyun looks to the side of the bed to see Mongryong attempting to jump on the bed.

“We’re making our son wait,” Baekhyun pouts as he sits up and looks down to see Yixing trying to hold in his laughter. “We’ll finish later?”

Yixing nods as he stretches before sitting up, hooking his chin on Baekhyun’s shoulder. “You go wipe yourself off and I’ll get Mongryong’s shoes and stuff ready,” Yixing says then kisses Baekhyun’s cheek.

“Thanks Babe,” he smiles and returns the kiss on Yixing’s dimple. “And remember to change out his coat; he got dirt on the last on and neither of us have washed it yet.” Baekhyun gets out of bed, giving Mongryong a quick pat on the head. “Daddy is sorry,” he sings. “I’ll give you extra treats after your walk.” Mongryong tilts his head and barks. “My baby,” he coos. “I’ll be back.” As Baekhyun makes the move to leave, he’s stopped by Yixing grabbing his wrist. “Forget something?” Baekhyun asks, turning toward Yixing.

“No,” Yixing grins. “Just telling you I love you.”

“Love you too.” Baekhyun’s mouth naturally curves upward and he’s once again in Yixing’s embrace. “Let me blow you real quick before the walk?”

“We have all the time in the world for that,” he says and pecks Baekhyun’s lips. Baekhyun pouts and taps his own lips. “You’re silly.”

“But you love me, Zhang Yixing.”

“I do, Byun Baekhyun. I’ll love you for the rest of my life and more.”

And Baekhyun can only smile as he crashes his lips against Yixing’s, excited for the rest of their lives together and more.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and if you have nothing to say about this particular fic, please don't bother commenting asking about any of my other fics. I'll just not respond and delete as always :)
> 
> Stan baekxing!! Bye-bye!!! ♥ ♥


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